Looking to buy new dictionary

Ok I need a new dictionary.  I am going to throw out my old dictionary.  I'm confused.  Someone needs to write a man dictionary for women.  What do they talk in morse code?  Wait..no I think morse code would be easier to understand.  And maybe just maybe the book should be called Third Brain Dictionary as well. 

Picture this:  my husband is watching his favorite football team, Bengals, on the television.  He's totally into watching the game.  I'm in the kitchen and the kids have just finished lunch.  Well, I tell Faith to go into her room and take a break.  I told Jason, on the other hand, to go take a nap.  Yes I know I treat them different in this case.  But when does a 7 year old take a nap today?  Jason will.  Faith won't.  My husband, who I think is totally into this game, hears me tell them that. 

My thought process was:  kids in their rooms sleeping or playing.  I can get that much needed housework down and get online to write. 

My husband's thought process was:  Oh boy the kids are going to their rooms.  Time to get me some.

Any other time he would have told me to wait for a commercial if I had a question...So WTF is up with this?  The third brain was talking for him?

Am I just odd or do I really need a Third Brain Dictionary?  What funny thing makes you think you need one as well.