Blogging as is not an income driver

I don’t want to depress everyone... especially since it's the holiday but I need to talk about this.  I'm broke.  FLAT BROKE.  That means see the wallet above?  That is what mine looks like.  That means when I open my blog each morning and post, I wonder if my husband is going to turn off the internet.  You see, he honestly doesn't think this blog is worth anything.  It's not that he doesn't support my dreams.  It is the fact that this blog has paid me absolutely nothing.  It is the fact that he wants me to make some kind of money.  I know.  I know.  I can't do much with Jason in the house.  He doesn't go anywhere.  I can't find a paying job that pays enough to fill the bill.  If I get a phone job at home, guess who starts making a lot of noise?  I tried that.  It didn't work.  If I could find a data entry job at home, I get outbid.  Have you tried Odesk.com?  I have.  It stinks trying to figure out how to outbid people that will work for $1.00 an hour.  I so am not kidding.  So trying to find a non phone..data entry or writing job is hard to do.

I found my dream job at home 4 years ago.  I was working as a trainer for a recruiting service.  And guess what, I made what I made when I was working in brick and mortar.  I put in more hours than I care to admit but Faith was going to school at the time.  And no Jason yet.  Then they went belly up about 2 years ago.  I haven't had a paycheck coming in the door for 2 years.  It is not cutting it.

I am hereby coming out and saying.. I'm broke.  I LOVE...  I do mean love to write.  It has been one of the best things I have ever done.  But I hate being broke.  I hate not having money.  I hate worrying paycheck to paycheck if I will be able to afford food, electricity or water.  I hate worrying about paying my mortgage.  I hate the fact that there are so many people out there in the same exact boat as me.  I worry non-stop.  I go to sleep worrying.  I wake up worrying.  I have nightmares about it.  Let me tell you it is no fun.

So I started writing this blog to start blowing off steam and keep a journal about my kids.  I found this awesome world.  I found incredibly awesome bloggy friends.  I read more stories and laughed harder than I have in years.  I want to continue doing it as well.  But...

My husband's salary pays for the bare necessities with nothing to spare.  My credit has fallen to the wayside.  I have made $.00 for this blog so far.  But I LOVE writing this blog.  I LOVE it more than I have ever loved anything.  So much so that I have considered writing a book once again.  You see when I was little I wanted to be a writer.  I grew up and I forgot.  Now I remember.  But the thing is.. can I afford to continue?

I make no money.  Paid posts are now coming to the forefront of my mind.  Google ads may show up on my RSS feed.  This is so that I can continue writing this blog.  So please please don't quit following me if I do.  You may see new ads showing up on my blog as well.  I have to justify me doing this some how.  In the meantime, please I'm not doing this to just spam or annoy you.  I need the money.  I wish I could find advertisers for the blog but I have no clue how to do that.  But at the same time, I have to be able to feel right about that advertisement if I do.  I will not change who I am even for money.

I can't change who I am either.  I write about anything.  Lately I've realized that I stay away from certain topics and don't know why.  I tell jokes.  Ok, most of my stuff is PG rated though.  I think that's because I know my family and friends read it.  But... I'm not always PG myself.  I want to write things that make you want to come read me.  I want to get to know you and I want you to know me.  I want to connect with you.  That connection does not come from money though.

Ok so what I'm asking from all my bloggy friends.. if you have found solutions to blogging and making a living off of it, please leave me a comment about how.  I would so love to do this blog full time but right now I'm just not able to.  My husband wants me to go back to work.  I can't blame him.  Though it does not make sense.  I really appreciate any support you do give me at any time.

Thank you for listening to me complain.

P.S.  I am so far behind in my blog reading and commenting but I will get to you as long as I have electricity sometime soon.

Reality of Recession

Since Jason came into our house, I haven't been able to really work like I used to.  I still do a little recruiting here or there.  Its usually when he is sleeping which isn't much.  Jason wakes up at 6 am every morning.  No alarm clock for him.  It is his internal clock.  I can't focus the time that I need to on work to get things done.  I get so frustrated as I watch the bills stack up.  Its simply a fact of life that we need to deal with.

I've considered a lot of different options.  Such as going back to the brick n mortar work field.  I haven't worked outside the house for over 6 years.  Not since Faith got sick as a small child.  Doctors thought that she had cystic fibrosis.  Thank God she didn't.  I came home because she could not stay well in daycare.  She actually had a ear infection, hand, foot and mouth, and strep throat at one point and didn't act like she was sick.  She was used to being sick that much.  Her pain tolerance level was extremely high.

Until last year, I was recruiting from home.  Now I wasn't making that great of money but I was making enough to keep my family out of the red.  I can't do that with Jason.  He simply will not be quiet if I am on the phone.  Instant red alert to him "Mommy is on the phone I need her now."  So working at home hasn't worked.  I can't go outside the home to work.  It simply is not financially feasible.  That would cost us $1000 a month for both kids in daycare.  That does not include gas, money to eat, clothing expense, etc.  I haven't worked outside the house for six years so the type of job I am going to get would not make sense to do it.

You have to be certified in the state of Kentucky to provide daycare.  Now I could do that.  But I don't have the money for the classes or the daycare while.  Any suggestions?  I am starting to sell Avon virtually since I can't afford to buy the stock that is necessary.

Any suggestions would be great.