Blonde Overtakes..Random Thoughts

Ok Ok We admit it.. the blonde in me is standing up and taking notice.  Slip slap.. I said Ms Blonde thing get out of my brain cells.  I want to be able to write again.  I miss all my quirky little posts.  I'm afraid to post some of the stories that you have coming out of me.  My readers might die of a heart attack.  It's not my fault that you don't want to have any.  Or maybe its me that doesn't want to have any. 

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Husband, go play with that thing on your own time.  Stop waking me up every morning playing with yourself.  It is not romantic at all.   Please don't tell me to get out of bed because you are making it bounce all over.  I want to sleep at 6 am.  I want you to get out of the bed and go play by yourself.

OMG I just sounded like my mother!!!  Help Help!!  Bring back the blonde!
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Have I told any of you that I was a blonde when all the blonde jokes started coming out?  I was terrified that all my brain cells were going to die because of all the chloride going to my brain.  Most times I have incredibly dark hair. 

OK well most of my hair is dark.  WTH is happening to my hair??  It's always been straight and thick.. now I have this freaking white hair coming in.  I said WHITE not gray.  Not only is this stuff all over my head..and I think I look like a pepper shaker.  This new hair feels like wire.  What does that mean???  Am I going to have pubic hair on my head when I get old?  Help help... need sane woman here.

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My son let my cat out of the house yesterday!!  My beautiful cat.  The sad part is... I didn't realize he was gone until late at night and I was looking for him.  I mean come on!  He drives me insane all day and the day that I don't notice he gets out of the house???  I feel for my neighbors...imagine this.. the crazy woman next door with black and white hair is screaming Tom Tom where are you?  at the top of her lungs wearing a long dark blue nightgown in the middle of a dark pitch night... I'm so white my face was glowing.  I probably looked like a screaming head without a body.  Neighbors if you read this.. Well don't look at my house!!!  And blame it on Jason.

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Thank goodness for the tv star that has a big hiney.. You changed the style for the better.  Come on what was up with these fashion designers about 3 years ago when my baby girl was 4.  She was wearing these pants that showed off her butt.  Let me tell you I didn't know before she put them on.  It wasn't the greatest place for her to have them on when I realized.  WTH are designers thinking when they make that kind of clothes for a 4 year old child????
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Woman... please try to get your stories straight.  If you tell me at one point, that the state is going after the father of your son for child support.  I'm going to believe you.  But if a year later, you tell me that your baby's father died in a car accident while hitchhiking and you can't get social security because you can't prove that he was the father.  I'm going to know that one of those stories is a lie.  SO Tell me which one it is.


Blondie out