Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my menopausal mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns a beautiful blue-green.

When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond (hint, hint!)

Being evaulated for mental problems

Douglas was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?"

Douglas replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!

The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?"

Douglas replied, "The same place you got that freaking train!"