Journal

Today, I decided to share a journal of the first days of Faith's life with you.  Its mushy so I warn you now.

Monday, October 7

Dearest Faith,

You are finally here and we feel so blessed.  We have waited a very long time for you.  Kenny, your new daddy, is taking your big sister, Kaitlyn, to you Aunt Tabby's house until you are released from the hospital.  I think Kenny is glowing.  He is so excited.

At 7:30 this morning, Marsha called me to tell me that her water broke.  I was so excited and scared at the same time.  I don't know how to bring up a little girl.  But I will learn as you grow up.  At 8:30 a.m., we found that you were going to have to be delivered by c-section because your heart beat went down to 45.  I was terrified.  Not only for you but for Marsha as well.  You see, I've known Marsha since she was very little.

I can't help but think and pray that this is truly what is best for you.  I know that Ken and I can give you love and material things but I don't know who can give your more love.  Marsha thinks its right.  She does not want to raise another child.  But my thoughts are on how you will handle it.  Will we tell you about it upfront or will we hide it?  The plans are for me to adopt you soon.  Will Marsha change her mind and want to keep you before we leave?  I'm so afraid to hide it though.  I know someone that it was hidden from.  He's an adult now.  When he finds it will it devestate him?  I think so.

I loved you from the moment you were born at 12:59 p.m.  You weighed 7 pounds 3.2 ounces and were 20 inches long.  You are so beautiful with your fat cheeks, long fingers and long toes.  My heart is so full that I don't know if it will burst or not.  I truly have never been happier.

I called my mom to tell her to come to the hospital to see you.  She is so excited.  She has a brand new baby granddaughter.

Thursday, October 10

Good morning, sweet pea.  I got up this morning to the sound of your precious cry.  It was a joyful feeling for me.  I've wanted to hear a child in my house for so long.  I love you so much.

Today as I held you, you smiled at me.  I almost cried - it was so beautiful.  I took you downstairs to meet the pets:  Casper (the lab), Harley (the Golden Retriever), Lucky (the sheltie) and Shadow (russian blue cat).  Casper put his nose on your arm and smelled you.  giggles You hit him with your hand.  It was so cute.

About 2:00 p.m. today, we (you and I) went to your Aunt Tabby's house.  There you met your wonderful Aunt Tabby, who will be your babysitter and Godmother.  I chose Tabby (my sister) as your Godmother because she loves kids and understands them.  I have never in my life seen somebody who understands kids better than her.  So I figured whatever I can't give you, she can.  In the event of your daddy and my death, Tabby will raise you for me.  Next you met your new cousins, Jeremie.  I think he was a little scared of you because you are so small.  Then came Jason who couldn't wait to meet you and last but not least was Chelsey.  I think she fell in love with you at sight.  Chelsey will be the one who will help you in your future with makeup, hair and clothes.  I am really bad at it.  Finally you met your uncle and Godfather, Jeff.  Jeff was talking to you as if you were his.  I was almost jealous.  He was so natural.  Some day I hope that I am but right now it still so overwhelming.  I'm not sure of anything yet.  I know that I love you completely.

Friday, October 11th

This morning, you really smiled at me.  I felt my heart swell with love.  Sometimes I find myself just sitting and watching you just wondering what you will be.  The world is your oyster.  You can be anything you chose ~ an athletic, artist, singer, writer, doctor, psychologist, teacher, lawyer~ anything you want to be.  And I have been given the responsibility of guiding you.  I love you so much.

----------------------------------------
Readers,

I hope you enjoyed reading this.  I can tell you that as I reread it.  My heart felt like it was going to burst again.  It was so magical a time for us.

Magical Moments on Tuesday

It's the second Magical Moment on Tuesday for HeartsMakeFamilies! For those of you visiting for the first time, the goal is to talk about one thing during the week that was magical to you. I mean that you were over the top about. It could be a project you completed, something your child did, a grand new idea, something you saw, etc. Something that was so magical that you have to tell us about it. I know. I know. This is why we all have blogs. But sometimes we just write about the negative things because we had a bad week. So if we all write about a Magical Moment then we might uplift another blogger. This is the very reason that I have this blog so that one day my children can see. You do not have to be a mom to do this. To join us, on Tuesday post what your Magical Moment was (add my button from the right side bar or link to me) and then be sure to stop here to link up and meet other moms at HeartsMakeFamilies to see what their Magical Moment was.

I was sitting here trying to figure out what my Magical Moment was this week.  It's been pretty tame week when I realized that my Magical Moment was my awards for the blog.  I was so incredibly honored to receive them.  In case, you don't remember I received the "Dragon's Are Loyal Award" from Amy at Keeping Up with the Schultz Family and the "One Lovely Blog Award" from Tanya at The Grab Bag. 

You see, only last week I was fighting with my husband about this blog.  He thought that I was putting too much time into it.  And down deep I never believed that I was any good at writing.  Although I can say that I always wanted to write a book.  I've been journaling since I was 13 or 14.  I have poems that I am digging out to share with you.  You might not like them. 

I guess the fact that this blog is almost three months old is still amazing to me.  It will be on Thursday, October 1st.  I try so hard to be positive all the time.  There isn't much that I'm not happy about in my life.  I have two wonderful kids.  I have the most wonderful husband in the world that truly does support anything I do.  I have so many wonderful people in my life.  I have material things.  Some I would rather not.  Some I'm glad of.

But this blog has been a special project for me.  Originally I was doing it simply for my kids.  So that they would have something to look back on and be able to understand that I am simply a woman trying to do the best that I can.  I want them to see who I was now.  You see, I think about the fact that I am an older mom.  I'm 44 years old now.  But when they graduate, I'll be in my 60's.  So what about when they have kids?  My mom is already going senile.  I think.  She is 66 now.  Will that happen to me?  I want to be here when they have kids and get married.  But if I'm not, I want a journal of some kind that tells my story for my grandkids as well.

Then it changed, suddenly I wanted to tell my story to everyone.  I wanted to help another person who was going through what I have.  I wanted to show someone who was going through a bad time that it could be worse.  Ok that doesn't sound right at all.  But see I believe no matter how bad it is for you that to someone else your life is better than theirs.  I, also, believe that God doesn't give you more than you can handle.  Now I have questioned that fact often.
I digest. But with this blog, I can’t believe that I have followers who like to read my stuff. It’s absolutely amazing to me. Yes, I am overly critical of what I write. But aren’t, we all? So receiving the awards and the comments from you all validated what I was doing.  It confirmed in my mind that I was doing some good.

The other day I saw something on Thetamom's blog that I totally agree with.  Sorry, Heather, I forgot to put this in here.  I am using a lot of her wording but I truly feel it in my heart as well that it is correct.

"I want to express a sincere thank you to my dear followers and readers that comment on my blog. Without you, this blog would be nothing. To all of my readers who comment, thank you! You know I give the comment love right back. Or I try to. Somebody please add hours to my day.

To my new followers, welcome to HeartsMakeFamilies! I am so glad you’re here!

And to those of you who read but don’t comment or follow, I can’t share in your blog because I don’t know you are here. Building a community is real simple to me: You follow, I follow. You comment, I comment. It's really that simple."

For the first time, I can honestly say that I think my little adventure into blogosphere might be working out. I think I found my place amongst you. I thank you all for letting me know that I belong here with you.

Now it is your turn. Please post about what your Magical Moment was (add my button from the right side bar or link to me) and then be sure to stop here to link up and meet other moms at HeartsMakeFamilies to see what their Magical Moment was.

If you enjoyed this one, please check out the other Magical Moments I posted:

September 22, 2009 - My niece's birthday
September 18, 2009 - When I first announced Magical Moments on Tuesday




I hope you all link up and meet here with your stories.  I can't wait to hear your stories.

Paula Dean's Lady and Son's Savannah Country Cookbook Giveaway At Patiently Waiting

Thena at Patiently Waiting is having a giveaway for a Lady and Son's Savannah Country Cookbook by Paula's Dean.  She has a really great blog.  Thena has lived in the Savannah area for forty-six years so this giveaway touches her heart.  Please stop and check it out.

Take a chance maybe you can win.  Paula Dean's recipes are wonderful.  I love the popcorn balls.

I Follow...Do You?

I stopped over at Mom's Online Garage Sale and found this post.  It was such an important issue that I decided to share it with you all.

Almost all blog platforms by default are set up so that a "dead end" piece of code is inserted wherever there is a link in a comment, so that search engines will not "count" the link as they are crawling the internet.  This was originally designed to help stop comment spam, but it doesn't work.  What it does is remove some of the incentive for your readers to contribute to your site by commenting on your posts.

What can you do about it?  Turn off "nofollow".  Show your commenters that you appreciate them.  Spread the link love.

Go to Randa Clay Design to download your "I Follow" Logo and see detailed instructions for turning off No Follow today.

Lovely Blog Award

I feel so honored to have been chosen for another award, One Lovely Blog Award by Tanya at The Grab Bag.  Thank you so much, Tanya.  I think I am in a state of shock.  I never win awards and now I have won two in one day.

Okay, the rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award" are:


Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award. Now it's my turn to pass it along!

Here are my fabulous 15:

1. Manda @ 'Manda Blogs About
2. Maryann @ TicTacDough
3. Samantha @ MamaNotes
4. Heather @ ThetaMom
5. Amy @ Keeping Up with the Schultz Family
6. Helene @ I'm Living Proof That God Has a Sense of Humor
7. Tiffany & Heather @ The Secret is in the Sauce
8. Laura @ Ziggy's Blog
9. Vanessa @ A Military Wife's Mayhem
10. Erica @ Two Peas in a Pod
11. Jen @ Mommy's Online Garage Sale
12. Sara @ Domestically Challenged
13. Nancy @ If Evolution Really Works
14. Shelley @ But Mama, I'm Hungry
15. Fiona @ Bantering Blonde

Please stop by all these wonderful blogs and say hi. 

There are so many more that I could say.  There are so many wonderful blogs out there.  I wish I could give everyone one of these.

You Are Like A Horse

You Are Like a Horse

You are strong, steady, and devoted. You are a good partner. You are gentle and sensitive. You can be easily frightened. You are usually quite stable, but you do have a wild streak that comes out from time to time. You are cooperative and not a solitary creature. You like to be around others.

What Pet Are You Like?

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

Dragon's Are Loyal Award

I am so honored right now.  I just received the Dragon's Are Loyal Award from Amy at Keeping Up with the Schultz Family.  Please check out her blog.  She talks about her family and it's really uplifting the way that she talks.  I love to read her blog every day.  I think I see Amy's comments almost every day.  Thanks so much, Amy, I am so honored.  I just found out about the Round Robin where you share something happening on October 9th.  Please stop over and check it out.

I love the look of this award to me it symbolizes how a mother is always protecting her child, family and friends.  I'm so happy that I got it from Amy.  It is my first award.

Since I started blogging, I have to say that I am very fortunate to have met some wonderful women.  People that I am proud to call friends.  Now I am passing it onto a few of my loyal blogging friends who have always been kind and loyal.  Can I pass it back to Amy as well?

1.  Heather @ ThetaMoms
2.  Debby @ JustBreathe
3.  Lee @ TheHotFlashQueen
4.  Yonca @ YoncaIsCooking
5.  Jenni @ SimplyMe

Thank you all for coming in to joke with me and comment on such wonderful things happening in my life.

With that note, off to church I go.

Next Door Neighbor's 8 Year Daughter Flashes the Bus

All week I have tried to forget about this but to no avail.  Last month, Faith told me that "I feel so stupid, Mom."  She didn't want me to take her down to the bus stop because none of the other kids' mom was down there.  I felt awful because my little girl was growing up.  And yes, when it was raining.  I took the opportunity to walk her down to the bus stop.  They can't take umbrellas to school.

When I get down there, the kids can't wait to tell me what my 8 year old neighbor's daughter, Kayla, did on the bus on Tuesday.  It still makes me cringe.  This little 8 year old girl flashed the entire bus.  At first, Kayla denied that she did it.  She said all that she showed was her stomach.  But the kids kept telling me that she had shown all of her.  They saw her bra.  She denied it until this little boy.  I'm guessing he was about 9 years old turned beat red and said, "Kayla, you were wearing a purple bra with some kind of white design on it."  Kayla said she wasn't.  But in a few minutes, she admitted she was wearing a purple bra but it was a Brat bra.  I would say about 9 kids told me the same story so finally Kayla admitted it was true.  She said that she not only mooned the whole bus.  She, also, mooned the kids when she got off the bus. 

I explained to her that was not appropriate for a little girl her age.  She told me that her parents knew about it and didn't mind.  I believe her.  I believe that she told them.  Two years ago when she was just a kindergartner, she beat some kid up on the bus.  Her drunken mother (my wonderful redneck neighbor) bragged about it all over town.  My heart just goes out for this child.  Children Services has been called several times but her parents know how to fool the system.  Nothing ever comes from it. 

The neighbors told me.  "Well like mother like daughter."  Since it is a well known fact that her mother mooned my husband.  Not only did she show him her butt by bending over.  We saw everything.  I mean everything that a woman has.  She, also, pulled down her shirt to show us the front side.  For more information about them, please read I would move but only for one reason. 

I've tried everything to help these kids.  The neighborhood has as well.  I can't let my kids play with their kids.  I'm worried about what will happen to my kids or what they will learn to early.  Would you let your kids play with them?   How far would you go to protect your child?

Mother's Quote of the Day

"The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men - from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

101 Things to Do in 1001 Days - Project Zero

I found this project on Simply Me's Blog.  She is participating in the Day Zero Project.  I decided to join her in the process.  According to Day Zero Project, the project is set out as:

The Mission:

Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:

Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?

Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:

1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.
2. Stay Focussed. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.
3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.
4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.
5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

Once you have created your site, you can add it to the master list here at Day Zero.

I am starting today, September 26, 2009 on my list of 101 goals I would like to accomplish within the next 1001 days.  (For me, thats June 23, 2012).  I will be journaling about this at:  Tami's 101 Things to Do In 1001 Days.

I hope you enjoy the journey with me.  Please let me know if you will be planning on doing your own 101 project!  If you don't want to do the journey itself, please just help me by leaving me comments on the way.

Thanks so much,

Inspirational Quote by Marianne Williamson

I was visiting So Many Kids, So Little Time and saw a quote that I had to bring to my site.  As you are all aware, I absolutely adore quotes.  But this quote made me sit down and think.  It made me feel inspired as I am sure that it made Kimi feel at So Many Kids, So Little Time.  Her family was watching the movie Akeelah and the Bee. It is an older movie and this quote was in it.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

~Marianne Williamson

This quote inspires me to continue working on the path I am following.  I hope that it inspires everyone.

How to Export Your Blog on Blogspot

To backup your blog, sign into Blogger Dashboard, go to Settings & Basic and you will see 3 links: import blog, export blog, delete blog.

Click on export blog and Blogger will create an xml file for you to save into your computer.  Make sure to save it to an appropriate name for you to remember it.

You have saved your blog.

First Grade Art Class - Time Out for Mommy

Jason started preschool on Tuesday of this week for an hour forty-five minutes.  I think it cost more money to drive home and back so I decided to volunteer in Faith's class at school.  It just so happens that it falls on her gym day and her art day. 

Now I know you are all wondering how this could be time out.  I like to participate in Time Out for Theta Mom's on Thursday.  You see, I have been driven insane lately by a 4 year old little boy who never shuts up.  Did I mention never?  It is non stop.  I'm just too old for that.  I have truly missed spending time with Faith for field trips and volunteering in her class.  So my time off this week was to volunteer in Faith's art class.  What I didn't know was that Mr. G, the art teacher, decided that I was to be one of the students today as well. 

For one hour, I was a first grader in art class.  The first thing we did was fold a white piece a paper into 4.  You take the paper and fold it in half.  Then fold it in half again.  Then we put a stencil underneath the paper and traced it with the side of a crayon.  We did this with all 4 of the squares.  In the end, we had a square with a leave in it, a bug in it, a butterfly in it, and a rose in it.  Then we took out the paint and lightly painted it.
I must say there were a lot of different looking art work coming out.

At the end of the class, Mr. G sang three songs that he wrote.  The first song was about his daughter, Katie who is 2 years old.  The second song was about his 8 month old little girl, Natalie.  I will always remember that.  It gave me chills to see how much he loved his child.  Last year when Faith first started having him for a teacher.  Parents talked about how strange it was that he taught art.  I understand completely now.  The man is a musician.  He used to perform.  Art is a artist trait.  It makes sense.  Funny how people can take things out of proportion.  He is an excellent teacher.

Now the reason that I call this my hour for time out is that, I felt like a kid again.  This project made me giggle and laugh with all of the kids in Faith's class.  I felt like a little kid.  I was doing something that I totally stink at but having the time of my life with Faith.  I made a memory with 26 first graders.  Me being one of them.  I know it was suppose to be without kids but this was better than without kids for a time out.

Open Up Your Heart

Let it cry...

Let it smile...

Let it struggle..

Let it have feelings..

Don't judge it

Don't hide it

Don't smother it

Praise it

Welcome it

Guide it

Support its decisions

© 2009 HeartsMakeFamilies (All rights reserved)

My Female Problems Lead to Endometrosis Part II

I remember feeling so completely lost. I wanted answers and no one could give them to me. I felt so frustrated and so incredibly helpless. But I couldn't focus on this at all. By this point, I was married to my first husband, Michael. He was starting to get sicker. He went blind a month after we got married. At this point, his kidneys were beginning to fail. So he took priority over anything else.


This is the second part to My Female Problems Lead to Endometrosis, please feel free to read the first part  here.

Once again, I got sick. It was the worst time for me to get sick. My husband was getting sicker. There couldn’t have been a worse time for me to worry about this. Michael’s kidneys had failed him. I was basically going back and forth from work to the hospital and then home again. In the morning, I would start the progress all over.

I went looking for a new gynecologist. Even though I had all of my paperwork, he wanted to do an exploratory surgery. The gynecologist said that he needed to see what was going on inside me. I agreed. I was desperate and sick of having a period that lasted almost a month at a time. The gynecologist assured me that it would only be a couple of days in the hospital and six weeks recovery. I could handle the couples days. I knew that I would be back to the grind shortly after. I had to work. I had to take care of my husband.

After the surgery, the gynecologist told me that the reason for the pain and the long periods was because of all the scar tissue that I had built up in my system from all of the surgeries. He had to remove part of the other ovary as well. So now I am down to ¾ of an ovary. I was devastated. I asked what the possibility of me having a child was. He said that it was still possible. I tried to believe him.

When I went in for a check up, I asked the gynecologist why this was happening to me. I didn’t know of anyone else that was going through what I was. He told me that he didn’t know why but he would get down to it.

I checked out. Everything seemed to be good at that appointment. As I was walking by his office, I heard him say something about me on the phone. I heard him tell this person on the other end that, “I think the Marcum (meaning me) woman has endometriosis.” Let me tell you. I kept walking. I couldn’t believe that he wasn’t telling me that directly.

I decided to find a specialist and not to hold back on this one. My husband was constantly back and forth in the hospitals. I believed that he was going to be alright. He started walking funny. It was the circulation in his legs going out. I had to put my problems on the back burner again. I devoted myself to my husband for the next year. If I would start hurting, I did my very best to ignore it. I had periods that were month long and cramps that were undeniable. But I had stored up all the pain medicine from previous times and took that. No I did not become addicted. I simply had to cope with what was my life. My heart was breaking in small little pieces. The thought of my husband not going to be here was destroying me. The thought of being a mother at this point wasn’t even in consideration. I loved my husband completely. I knew that the doctors could not keep him going much longer. His body was failing him. My female parts were failing me. Maybe it was just meant to be that way.

Michael passed away in September of 1989. I went into a stage of life that no young woman of 23 should go into. I was in a group that no one wanted to be in. Not only did I mourn the loss of my special love, I also mourned the fact that we did not have a child to carry on his name.

I decided to find that specialist. I found a gynecologist, Dr. Plunkett. I went to see him with my huge file folder. He read over my information and then checked me out. I never told him what I had heard the last gynecologist said. He said in his office on the first visit, “I think you have endometriosis.”

I asked what it was. “Endometriosis is a condition in which the tissue that normally lines the uterus (endometrium) grows in other areas of the body, causing pain, irregular bleeding and possible infertility. The tissue growth (implant) typically occurs in the pelvic area, outside of the uterus, on the ovaries, bowel, rectum, bladder, and the delicate lining of the pelvis.” For more information, go here.

Dr. Plunkett wanted to do an exploratory surgery. I was having pain during the exam. He said that he had felt something and wanted to be careful. He wanted to make sure that I didn’t lose any option of having kids. I agreed to the surgery.

Once again during the surgery, cysts are found. This time they were found in my uterus. He removed them. Dr. Plunkett assured me that I still had a chance of having kids in the future. I was on cloud nine. I was so excited. I had a competent gynecologist.

For the next year, things went along smoothly. I was sitting at work when the pain hit me. I was working for the Girl Scouts in Cincinnati. I called Dr. Plunkett’s office and asked for the next appointment. I told them I felt like I was going to pass out. They told me to come right away. I called my mother and pretty much begged her to come and take me. I knew that I couldn’t drive. Mom asked if I was sure it was my female parts. I had absolutely no doubts. One I had asked the first gynecologist to remove my appendix so I never thought it could be anything else.

We got to the office. He said he wanted to give me an exam and see what was up. When he did my exam, I passed out for the first time in my life from the pain. When I came too, he told me that I needed to go to the hospital now. I would be admitted right away. We stopped off at my place for a few things before heading to the hospital. I knew that it was really bad.

I don’t remember much about before the surgery other than that. I do remember coming to crying. My mom was very careful not to tell me what he told her. I asked several times and finally gave up.

The next morning, Dr. Plunkett came in to see me. He told me that my appendix had erupted and that if I hadn’t had all the scar tissue from all of the surgeries that I wouldn’t have survived. My female parts were basically green with poison. He told me that he had to give me a complete hysterectomy.

Even now, that memory still makes me cry. I was devastated.  I think I went a little crazy.  I began to believe that I wasn't a complete woman.  That I could never be whole again.  I am today.  I am completely whole with my family.  I have my babies, Faith and Jason.

Note:  If you believe something is wrong with you, don't let it keep building.  Don't take the risk I did.

Wordless Wednesday

Mom look it kisses

I'm walking the dog.  Be right back.

Mom, look what was in my Easter basket.

Let's pray together

Ok I'm naked and the dog has a tie on.  Are you telling me you are taking our picture for real?

Cat:  I know why I'm looking in the tank.  Why is she?

Preschool for Jason

When Faith was 3 years old, she was accepted into the preschool program because of the "No Child Left Behind Law".  The preschool program was with the school system.  Even though, I was working for home my husband made to much money for her to be entered into the program for financial needs.  She was tested and found to have speech problems.  She was admitted into the program as soon as it started.  It was a very easy process.  She remained in the preschool program until she became a kindergartner at the age of 6. 

When Jason came to live with us last fall, I immediately took him to be tested to see if he could get into the same program.  They told me for a 3 year old he was at the appropriate levels in all areas.  In retrospect, I thought he was more advanced than he was.  He is very good at talking the part but not being able to do it.  I thought he knew his colors, his shapes and various other things.  He did not.  As the year went on, I realized just how much he had been able to fool us.  I learned that he did not know his colors and shapes.  I found out that he had social issues as well.  He likes to fight with little girls or anyone that is smaller than him.  I understand this to be normal in foster care situations.  They have been hurt in so many different ways that they can develop aggressive traits.  Jason has them except ironically with his 2 year old cousin.  I think they have the same mentality.

In April, he turned four years old.  I called the preschool program again to see if I could get him tested.  I was advised that he had to wait until September to start.  This fact meant that I would not be able to work for another 6 months.  I haven't really been able to work since he came into the house.  He is just way too active.

On August 24, we went in for testing for the preschool program.  The testing took about 3 hours.  They checked his hearing, his vision, language skills, cognitive skills, social skills, motor skills, and adaptive skills.  While he was testing, I was filling out this mountain of paperwork.  At the end of the 3 hours, I was told that he was accepted into a new program called "Response to Intervention". 

Last year, it was decided that the preschool system was claiming that too many children had disabilities.  So the government created this "Response to Intervention" clause to the preschool program.  He qualified for speech and social skills issues.  Jason will attend preschool for six weeks during the afternoon session.  He will not be provided speech therapy though.  Nothing that is official is allowed to happen.  I will provide transportation to and from the school.  Now they have lunch so I am driving Jason to school at 12:45 p.m. and picking him back up at 2:30 p.m.  That means he is there for 1 hour 45 minutes.

If he improves during the six weeks, he will be released from the program.  I can't see a speech problem disappearing without working with it.  If he doesn't improve, the teachers can decide to extend the Intervention program for six weeks or he can be tested again.  Now the same process happens after the next six weeks again.

I can understand that the government is saying that too many kids are being accepted into the preschool program.  But this is simply crazy.  There is no way a kid will improve in six weeks with a speech problem.  He has the same speech problem that his sister has.  According to the speech therapist that I am friends with at the school, she tested him for me.

Blogger's Issues - Backing Up Blogger

Today I saw my followers disappear, just as I was going to come looking at other's blogs.  It got me to thinking about how to back up my followers.  Any one know how?  I know how to export the blog which I will be doing nightly since Blogger is having issues.

My Magical Moment on Tuesday

I’m so excited to it's the official first Magical Moment on Tuesday for HeartsMakeFamilies! For those of you visiting for the first time, the goal is to talk about one thing during the week that was magical to you.  I mean that you were over the top about. It could be a project you completed, something your child did, a grand new idea, something you saw, etc. Something that was so magical that you have to tell us about it. I know. I know. This is why we all have blogs. But sometimes we just write about the negative things because we had a bad week. So if we all write about a Magical Moment then we might uplift another blogger. This is the very reason that I have this blog so that one day my children can see.  You do not have to be a mom to do this.  To join us, on Tuesday post what your Magical Moment was (add my button from the right side bar or link to me) and then be sure to stop here to link up and meet other moms at HeartsMakeFamilies to see what their Magical Moment was. 

My Magical Moment was so simple this week.  We were at my niece's 8th birthday party.  My husband reached up and held my newest niece, Gabrielle, for the first time.  He's terrified of little babies.  It is the old big man versus little baby.  Little baby always wins.

As you can see, his smile lit up half his face.  This moment was a magical moment to me but it was also bittersweet.  Now the reason that this was magical to me is that I had a flashback to the day that we brought Faith home.  Nothing ever could compete with the feeling of happiness when we had our daughter in our own house for the first time.  Nothing.

This picture is back in 2002 when Faith was 3 days old.  Next to us stands her older sister, Kerry.  Neither of us could have known at that moment just how alike they would look as they grew up.  This picture was taken at my sister's house before she moved to Florida.  We were there sharing the joy of the newest addition to our family.

I mentioned in the past that I found out about Jason being in foster care on his biological aunt's Myspace.  That was back in November 2007.  We went through 12 weeks of parenting classes to first get to see him.  I do mean to just see him.  We had FBI, criminal and background checks down.  Believe me I thought they could see up inside me by the end.  We finally got to meet Jason on Wednesday, April 2nd at McDonalds.  We were scheduled to meet the caseworker from Ohio as well as the foster mom for our first meeting.  Jason was very shy and only would smile at the foster mom.  He wanted absolutely nothing to do with me.  The meeting was three days before his third birthday.  I remember because the foster mom told me about the party they were going to have.  I wanted to be there so badly.

So it was a Magical Moment to me because it reminded me of the birth of both of my children.  It reminded me of when we were finally a family.  My dreams and prayers were finally answered.

My babies, Faith and Jason on July 19, 2008.  The first visit without a state chaperone.

Now it is your turn.  Please post about what your Magical Moment was (add my button from the right side bar or link to me) and then be sure to stop here to link up and meet other moms at HeartsMakeFamilies to see what their Magical Moment was.

Disney Hannah Montana Rock Star Electric Guitar

The advertisement was:  Sing a favorite tune with pal Hannah Montana and this rockin' electric guitar.  It plays the songs "Who Said," "Best of Both Worlds," and "This is the Life."  Features light-up, realistic strumming strings, volume and echo controls, plus a sing-along microphone that amplifies your voice.  Requires 4 "AA" batteries, included.  Guitar measures 24" x 8.5".

My daughter wanted this guitar over everything she wanted for Christmas last year.  She decided to tell me at the last minute as well.  So I drove all over until I finally found it at Walmart for $39.99.  I bought it.  I was so excited because I got that perfect thing she wanted from Santa Claus.  I had no clue that it would turn out to be the worst gift of all.

My husband and I always keep one gift out for the end of the night at our house.  The purpose is to hold that one special gift for them.  Just in case something goes wrong during the day which does happen. 

The guitar itself is fantastic but not the headset.  The headset wouldn't fit her head or my son's head.  In fact it didn't appear to be able to fit anyone's head.  So I tested that theory out the next day on several children's heads.  None of them fit. 

The tunes that it was supposed to play were very poor quality.  We could barely understand the words.  They seem to be coming out of a styrofoam box.

If you don't care about the music or the headset, I would recommend purchasing the guitar.  If your child wants to really act like a rock star like the advertisement proclaims, this is not the purchase for you.  Don't waste your money.

Note:  This opinion is solely mine.

Dell Settles over "Fix Your Own Computer" Charges

This just came out in my local news. 

"It appears a multi million dollar settlement involving Dell computer could be extended to Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana and other states.


If so, that could mean some money back for people who thought they were buying peace of mind ...but ended up with something else.  Fix Your Own Laptop!  When Tony Ivey purchased this dell laptop back in 2005.... he also bought an Dell extended warranty or service plan, for another 400 dollars."

If you bought a Dell laptop, you might want to check into this.  You will find more information Here.

How spoiled are we today?

I just realized just how spoiled I am with my technology. Mind you, I have no clue how it all works. But I use it well. Today I was getting ready to post as I typically do in the afternoon on Sunday after all has quieted down. Well it didn't quiet down. In fact, I would stay that I heated up the entire house when I got upset. Two years ago while I was working, I invested in a wonderful laptop and left behind being tied down to the desktop. I love my laptop faithfully. I kept it cleaned. I took it every where. It became my friend. Today my faithful companion decided it didn't like me anymore. I didn't get a virus thank goodness. The laptop ac adapter that connects to the wall decided not to work anymore. Not only did the adapter decide not to work anymore, the batteries are no longer charged. I never knew that they could stop working. I learned something new the hard way.

So I called Dell thinking that my laptop was still under warranty. No such luck it expired two months ago. Now the adapter they say will cost me $94 plus shipping. Being the thrifty person that I try to be, I went to Amazon. Amazon had one for $39.99 plus shipping. It is the same exact adapter and brand new. Now that’s a good thing. I saved $54. Tip: Always look around before paying the top dollar when you don’t need to.

Back to the desktop I went. Now I neglected the desktop because only my husband or children used. I literally never touched the desktop once my friend came. This meant that I had to update everything on the desktop today as well. That took about 3 hours to do that. Everything was out of date. My husband says, "Well I told you I was having problems on it. I told you that you needed to fix it." That voice is the biggest non-technical person telling the other non-technical person to fix it. I never got around to it.

This little experience got me to thinking though. I started thinking about all the technology that we are all so used to. Thinking about how very spoiled I have become. How spoiled as a nation we have become as well. I remember growing up without computers. Yes, yes don’t cringe. It’s true. In fact, we didn’t really touch typewriters until I was in high school. Now kids are using computers in preschool or kindergarten. My daughter told me that she goes to the computer lab once a week to just do searches and play on the internet. She is in first grade. It used to be a luxury to have a computer. Now we not only have computers but we can use them almost anywhere. We can use them at stores, outside at the park, etc.

I started thinking about how we take for granted all of these luxuries. My grandparents used to live on what we call safe supplies. They lived in one house with their children. They were lucky to have a television in their house. Now we can watch television on the internet. They were lucky to have a telephone in their house. Now we have cell phones that not only can we make calls on anywhere but also take pictures, send text messages, or get on the internet. A lot of 10 year old kids have cell phone now so that they can let their parents know where they are.

If you had to give up two luxuries, what would they be and why? I would give up:

1. Television in the house – I can view most of my shows on the internet. I’d be giving up cable at the same time.
2. Telephone in the house – I have a cell phone which takes pictures and sends text messages.

So how about you what would you be willing to give up? Please leave your answer in the comments.

Sunday Inspirational Quote

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Henry David Thoreau

Magical Moments for Tuesday

I’m so excited to officially launch Magical Moments for Tuesdays with HeartsMakeFamilies.  I've seen all these wonderful slogans:  Wordless Wednesdays, Time Out for Theta Mom, Tip Jar, etc.  The goal for Magical Moments is to talk about one thing during the week that was magical for you.  I mean that you were over the top about.  It could be a project you completed, something your child did, a grand new idea, something you saw, etc.  Something that was so magical that you have to tell us about it.  I know.  I know.  This is why we all have blogs.  But sometimes we just write about the negative things because we had a bad week.  So if we all write about a Magical Moment then we might uplift another blogger.  This is the very reason that I have this blog so that one day my children can see how I valued my life and the things that affected me.

My magical moment of last week was simply becoming a new aunt to a gorgeous baby girl, Gabrielle.  I wasn't there for it but it was still a magical moment when I was told via text.  It made me warm inside knowing there was one more angel on the earth.  The week before it was probably that my daughter feed my dogs without asking if she needed too.  Yes it was a miracle to me.  So you can see how different they can be. 

It is such a simple thing to write about.  I am simply asking you to share one of the golden moments of your lives with all of us.  To join us, on Tuesday post about your "Magical Moment" (add my button from the right side bar or link to me) and then be sure to stop here to link up and meet other Magical Moment Mommas to see what was their magical moment!

Now I am announcing it earlier so that we all have the weekend to think about it.  I think I am finally having a blast with my blog.  I'm finally feeling like this is mine.  That I can contribute to the world of blogging.  And I simply love it.

P.S. When I post it on Tuesday, I will have a mcklinky link for us all.

So Sorry Email Subscribers

Everyone,

I am having problems with Feedburner right now.  They haven't let me know if I will be able to save my current subscribers yet by email.  I set up another feed with them so please sign up on the new one.  I don't believe that you have received any messages from me for the last two days. 

I so want to cry about this but it won't do any good.  I had 36 subscribers.  There is no way for me to contact them.  Please leave a comment if you resubscribe.  Thanks so much.