Things Children Say

Jack (age 3) was watching his mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.  After a while, he asked:  "Mom why have you got two?  Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

Steven (age 3) hugged and kissed his mom good night.  "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to buy your outside my bedroom window."

Susan (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups.  "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

Marc (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant.  Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad:  "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

A mother will never forget during a Sunday sermon, "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended towards heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face.  "Without you, we are but dust."  He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

NOTE:  I just found this in my emails.  I did not write it but I wanted to share it.

Tuesday's Post It

Upon popular request, I am again joining Supahmommy with Post It Tuesday. Each post means something to me. Mostly likely it will reference something that happened this week. So on with the Post-Its.

Please God Give Me Patience of a Saint

Please please God give me the patience of a saint! Today is one of my normal days with Jason but the furnace isn't running. My freaking husband ran out the door without out even kissing me. Ok come on yes I know it’s just the punctual kiss in the morning but I WANT my kiss. He wasn't mad at me. He just gave the kids hugs and kisses and forgot about me. He FORGOT his loving wife. And I called him on the cell phone and told him to come back and kiss me. He said OOPS!! What the heck is OOPS about? Come back and kiss me you idiot. So I'm kissless today.


I run around the house listening to Jason complaining because like normal I’m getting Faith ready.

Jason: “Mommy, I don’t want to watch this show!”
Me: “Jason, mommy put your cartoons on already.”
Jason: “But Mommy I don’t like this cartoon.”
Me: “I am getting Faith ready. I can’t help you right now.” Brain thinking just gives me time to get her on the bus and you can drive me insane.
Jason: “BUT MOMMY I DON”T WANT TO WATCH THIS SHOW!” (Yes he was screaming at the top of his lungs. Oh boy do I know what today is going to be like.)

I went back to trying to get Faith’s mop into a pony tail.

Faith: “Ow that hurts”
Me: “Let me cut your hair off please.”
Faith: “No mommy I want my hair to grow.”
Me: “But you can’t take care of it. It looks bad when it’s not put up.”
Faith: “Mom, I WANT MY HAIR LONG.”
Me: sigh

Walk Faith to the new bus stop. Our bus stop which simply translated means I freeze while she waits for the bus to come and then she runs down the street. I’m freezing. It’s not that cold so why am I freezing? Because I put on my husband’s robe which I now know has holes in the seat. There is simply nothing like having air rush up your butt.

I walk back into the house to find Jason tearing his sister’s diary up. Yes tearing. She’s going to kill him if I don’t today. I can tell.

Me: “Jason, you are not supposed to have Faith’s stuff.”
Jason: “Why not I don’t have one of these?”
Me: “Cuz you aren’t.”
Jason: “Well, Patsy would have let me have one.”

Ouchie! He used that word on me. Patsy is Jason’s former short term foster care mother. And when ever he is mad at me or isn’t getting his way, he uses that woman’s name. He so knows as well when he does it that it drives me insane.

I went downstairs in the laundry room thinking that it was safer for me there. YES I thought that doing laundry would make me peaceful lol. Jason follows me downstairs.

Jason: “Mommy, I don’t want to watch that show.”
Me: “I’m doing laundry.”
Jason: “Mommy, change the channel.”
Me: “Stop ordering me around you aren’t my boss.”
Jason: “Yes I am.”
Me: “Sit on that box right there and be quiet. Time out young man.”

I walk out of the laundry room into my bedroom. And then it starts.

Jason: “MOMMY YOU FORGOT ME.” Over and over and over he says it.

God, again, please give me patience.  If Monday starts like this, heaven help me for the rest of it.

Mommy, What are these bumps on my tongue?

Jason asked me today, "Mommy, what are these bumps on my tongue?" to which I said, "Those are taste buds."  Then I got the "Why, mommy?  What do they do?  And then "Can't you get these bumps out of my mouth?"  So it got me to thinking about the reasons.  I did my best to explain it to him.

Taste buds let you appreciate your favorite foods like the salt on pretzels and the sweetness of ice cream.  Taste buds are found on your tongue and allow you to experiences tastes like sweet, salty, sour and bitter.  The bumps in your mouth are called taste bumps.  Taste bumps send messages to your brain about how what you are eating tastes.

Did you know that the average person has 10,000 taste buds?  All those taste buds are sending different messages to your brain about your favorite foods.  Now don't forget your nose.  Taste buds do not get to take all the credit.  Your nose helps your taste buds out.  When you are chewing that tasty morsel, the food is releasing chemicals that travel up to your nose.  It is there processed with the taste buds information which creates the true flavor of that yummy slice of pizza you are consuming.

Mom Can I Go Swimming

Apparently the child wants to swim in that green guck in the pool. Its so hot here lately that when the sun hits the pool its turns green. Am I going to allow Faith or Jason in that? No the answer is No. You are not going swimming. Ok, puts on the list for my husband to work on. That is not going to work at all. No green pool for the kid. Why does the sun affect water like that? Yesterday the water was fine. Today it has green algae in it. No the kids can't swim in that.

Ok so I know that my husband will tell me that he needs to put chemicals into it. Then he has to take a vacuum and clean the walls and the floor of the pool. We have some kind of chemical called Shock that he will use as well to put the chlorine back in the pool. He has to run the pump for a while to help circulate the water.

But the question still remains, the kids are still saying "Mom I want to go swimming."

Mall Ponderings

I was watching the kids at the mall. Jason was running around like a bat. He was having so much fun with kids his age. He has changed so much since he has been here and I can't wait til he is mine. Just hearing him giggle makes me smile today. He was so carefree today. Faith, on the other hand, didn't look very happy. She was fighting with the kids on the playground because they wouldn't do what she wanted. I had to give her a times out 3 times before I finally gave up and said lets go. And then it was "Mom, can I get some earrings from Claire's?" Well I stood my ground I'm not rewarding that behaviour and I said no.

Cell Phones

Ok no one told me that I would ever get addicted to my cell phone. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have thought about a cell phone since it was stolen. Its really kind of crazy. I went to Borders today. Yes I'm a book worm sometimes. I suddenly thought, "Man, my husband can't call me if he needs me." Now that was a concern since every time something bad happened to Faith. She was with him. Such as both times the dog bit her, when she busted open her mouth falling in the bathtub and lets not forget when he turned her into the green monster.

I think that was the funniest thing I ever saw when I got home. I went to Bingo. Now, I know more people go to Bingo then I ever thought so don't think it. Well, I left a dabber at home. (For those of you Bingo virgins, that's a bottle full of green ink with a dabber on top of it). Faith was upstair and my husband got distracted as usual. She was in a diaper when she found the dabber. She got the lid off and poured it all over herself. The only part of her that wasn't green was where her diaper had been. It took 2 weeks before she was not a martian anymore. You wanna talk about old ladies staring at you like you were the devil reincarnated? Well they did. So needless to say, I came home right after I had the thought about the cellphone lol. Everything was alright though.

Toilet

Jason is just so cute. But he's also a pain in my butt. He just whines so much that it drives me nuts sometimes. I realize that his life has been upset with us adopting him. I know he's so young that he doesn't understand. We just want to give him the life that he deserves. He deserves to have a loving happy family. Today he took off his pullup and put it into the toilet. He said that, "I wanted to see how much pee it would hold". Well it held a lot of water. It was really funny but I know my husband won't be happy. He's a plumber you know. lol

Kids and Death

Ok so Faith and I had a little mishap today. We were goofing around on her bed. Faith leans forward and then all of a sudden she comes backward hitting the back of her head into my head. Later I would find out that I had one heck of a bruise from it. She literally knocked me out cold. I must have been out a good five to ten minutes. When I finally came too, I hear Faith telling Jason that, "Daddy is not going to be happy when he comes home and finds mommy dead." To which Jason says, "Let's jump on her and see if she moves." Faith's response is, "She isn't going to move dead people, don't move."

It was only a couple of seconds while I heard this conversation. I immediately let them know that I was awake. They hugged the stuffing out of me. Now this whole episode made me start thinking that they had absolutely no idea what to do in an emergency. First off, they had to have been terrified during it. It was after school so all of the kids were home and parents as well. They didn't go outside to get help which isn't good at all. They literally were waiting for my husband to come home because Faith thought she killed me. We have now talked about what to do if something ever happens. They seem to understand.