Faith's Homework

Tonight I felt really stupid.  How do you explain to a child why when they are suppose to spell "an" that its not "and"?  I explained that the two words meant something different.  The thing is at her age she hears by the sound of it not the meaning of the word.  So I had to send that message into the teacher.  I simply don't know how to explain it.

Anyone have any suggestions?  I so need help on this one.

Step Parent Adopting Process

We called a wonderful lawyer named Stephanie Dietz and began to the process. The process was relatively easy for adopting a step child. Marsha had to have a lawyer to go over her rights. She signed over all her legal rights to me. She acknowledged that she thought that I would be a good mother to Faith. Then my husband had to see an attorney of his own. He wasn’t allowed to use mine since it was a conflict of interest. The lawyer explained that he didn’t have to do it. Basically, they want to be sure that everyone agrees to the adoption.

The final part was a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) for Faith. “Since minor children cannot make legal decisions for themselves, nor bind themselves legally to any contractual obligations, in any legal proceeding where the legal interests of a child and the legal interests of its parents are considered to be adverse or in conflict with each other, a guardian ad litem will be appointed for the child by the court to provide an independent adult to act on behalf of the child in the legal proceeding, and to make certain that the interests and legal rights of the child are given adequate consideration and are adequately protected in that process. The legal protective status of a guardian ad litem will exist only within the confines of the particular court case in which the appointment was made.” Found at http://glossary.adoption.com/guardian-ad-litem.html.

This process took about six months simply for paperwork. It was a very easy process.

Mommy, What are these bumps on my tongue?

Jason asked me today, "Mommy, what are these bumps on my tongue?" to which I said, "Those are taste buds."  Then I got the "Why, mommy?  What do they do?  And then "Can't you get these bumps out of my mouth?"  So it got me to thinking about the reasons.  I did my best to explain it to him.

Taste buds let you appreciate your favorite foods like the salt on pretzels and the sweetness of ice cream.  Taste buds are found on your tongue and allow you to experiences tastes like sweet, salty, sour and bitter.  The bumps in your mouth are called taste bumps.  Taste bumps send messages to your brain about how what you are eating tastes.

Did you know that the average person has 10,000 taste buds?  All those taste buds are sending different messages to your brain about your favorite foods.  Now don't forget your nose.  Taste buds do not get to take all the credit.  Your nose helps your taste buds out.  When you are chewing that tasty morsel, the food is releasing chemicals that travel up to your nose.  It is there processed with the taste buds information which creates the true flavor of that yummy slice of pizza you are consuming.

Angel Food Ministries

In 1994, Pastors Joe and Linda Wingo began Angel Food Ministries in Monroe, GA.  They felt a need to help their fellow citizens who were struggling after a plant closing by supplying the families with food.  It started out very small but today it is feeding over 500,000 families across the United States.  Angel Food Ministries is a non-profit, non-denominational organization.  This is really good news for stressed out families because of the rising costs and lower income coming into a household.

The nice thing about Angel Food Ministries is that it is open to everyone.  There is no particular income bracket.  There are no applications or qualifications required.  You qualify whether you are getting aid or doing well or struggling.  I have been ordering from them for about six months.  I can testify to the quality of the food. 

Angel Food distributes the food to local churches who feed their parishes.  But anyone can buy from the parishes.  A family can contact a host church directly or order their food online.  The family will then have to go to the host church to pick up the order.  Each box costs $30 and contains fresh and frozen items.  You can purchase the food online by credit card or Food Stamps.  I'm not sure exactly how the Food Stamps work but I know that it is allowed.  

This month's menu:

1.5 lb. Rib eye Steaks (3 x 8 oz.)

1.81 lb. (avg.) Perdue Tray Pack
Split Chicken Breast (2 large breasts)
4 lb. Chicken Thighs
1.5 lb. Pork Chops (4 x 6 oz.)
1 lb. 80/20 Lean Ground Beef
1.5 lb. 100% White Meat Turkey
Burgers (4 x 6 oz.)
12 oz. Deli Ham
1 lb. Frozen Sweet Potatoes
1 lb. Frozen Green Beans
15 oz. Pears (Product of U.S.A.)
12 oz. Orange Juice Concentrate
100% juice, no sugar added - makes over a quart of juice)
3 lb. bag Fresh Idaho Potatoes
2 lb. bag Fresh Onions
32 oz. 2% Shelf Stable Milk
Dozen Eggs
Dessert

Each box is suppose to feed a family of four for a week or a senior citizen for about a month.  As you can see, it is a good amount of food.  The food is the same quality as you would purchase from your local grocery store.  If you were to purchase it in the store, I can guarantee that you would pay twice the amount at least.  I did a check on what we got last month.  I would have been paying $85 for it.  I saved $55 on one box.  Now I order 2 boxes typically.  I, also, order specials that they have. 

They do carry a prepackaged balanced fully cooked meals for people on the go or seniors which costs $28.  They have a dry mix allergen-free food box as well that they sell for $35.  I know that they had a Thanksgiving package coming up as well.

Check out the website, Angel Food Ministries, to find a host church to order from.

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.  I do completely support this cause.

Today's Realization - Comments - Help

Well today was a shock for me. Since I started this blog, I have made it so technical. I have made everything harder than it has to be. I found a lot of tools though. But when I did I forgot the simplest of things that I could do which I have now caught up.

I so enjoy reading comments from my readers. Truthfully I am still amazed that anyone wants to read my blog. I simply am talking about things that happen in my life. As I said in a twitter post today, I sometimes wonder though if I'm in a reality comedy show and someone forgot to tell me. I have always had a great sense of humor. It seems to be coming out in my writings.

So my realization today was.. I could comment back to you in my posts lol. So if you commented on a post, I have now commented back.

I plan on visiting a lot of yours blogs this weekend as well. I haven't had time with school starting, Jason being tested (soon blog I forgot to type it lol), and everything else. But I will be this weekend so watch for my comments.

Growing Old

Menopause

I havent felt like writing much lately. I'm sure there is a sound reason for this. I get these great post idea's but its never at a time where I can sit down and log on to write them. Figure's right? And so I miss out on some great topics to discuss here.

I used to be a girl that remembered everything. I guess menopause is hitting me now. And let me tell you the hot flashes are the worst things. I just don't get it. I'll be perfectly fine one minute and then the next I am blazing hot or cold. I never know which is going to happen. So dressing is near to impossible. I wear layers now even in the summer so that if I get cold I have something to put on. Or if I get hot I have something to take off.

Now because I'm having hot flashes, I am now on hormone treatment. Thats kinda scary. If you look at the reports, they all say if you are on this medicine for 15 years you will get cancer. Will get cancer.. I'm 43 so will I be on it when I'm 58? I will try to find something else to take.

Please let me know if anyone else is going through this.

Almost Missed Bus

Faith almost missed the bus this morning. I got stuck doing other things and just simply lost track of time. Have you ever had that happen? Please leave a comment.

Avon

I decided to start selling Avon on the side.  I figured it was a good company.  They have been around forever.  I only want to sell it online though.  They set up your website for $10.  All of it is electronic.  So I will try to do it.  If you are interested, please let me know so I can get you set up.

Their Biological Mom

I thought I would talk about their biological mom so that you could see their story a little more. Marsha and her brother were raised by her father and mother at first. When she was five years old, her mother took off and disappeared from her life. Marsha's mother had mental issues and always thought someone was after her. Later we would find out that she ran to Florida. This was when I met Marsha. I was dating my soon to be first husband, Michael. Marsha's father was a druggy so he would soon lose custody of Marsha. Her aunt wanted her to have a chance in her life so she went after her. Marsha excelled during the time that she was in her aunt's care. She did well in school. She had friends for the first time.

Her father kept going to see her sporadically. There was nothing steady in his time that he would see her. Marsha started to resent her aunt for having taken her. Remember, she is a little girl that simply wants her daddy. She doesn’t understand why she isn’t with him. He keeps telling her things like “You can come live with me soon” or “I love you so much. I will get it together and take you home.” She didn’t understand everything because her brother was still living with her father. Why wasn’t she? In actual fact, her father was living with his parents. They were raising his son for him. She didn’t know that. After she began to act up, her aunt allowed her to go back to her father. Was this the best move for her? I doubt it.

She was with her father when she became pregnant. He forced her to have an abortion. Within a year, she was pregnant again with her first daughter, Julie. Foster care again came in on the scene. They removed Marsha and Julie from her father’s care and placed her with another aunt, Paula. She lived at Paula’s house until she was 18 years old when she moved in with her boyfriend.

She wasn’t there but six months when she became pregnant again. She was living on welfare so she took care of herself while she was pregnant. She had a little boy named Jasper. This was when I came back into her life. She came looking for me. She remembered how I used to help her when she was a child. We became friends once again in 2000. She was a part of our lives. I got to watch two children grow up. I couldn’t have children at that point so it was a precious time for me. She left her boyfriend in 2001.

I was busy preparing for the wedding at this point. My husband and I were fighting quite often. We split up right before the wedding. Nerves I think. Marsha came to us to tell us that she was pregnant again. She said the baby was my husband. She told him that he either took her or she would abort her. She said that she didn’t want to do that. He took her obviously. There was no choice.

Ok so its one month until we got married. Now I was really conflicted. Part of me was overjoyed because we would have a child to raise as our own. Well his. I was, also, furious for the same exact reason. I knew that it had happened. When we had gotten back together, my husband had told me about that night. But I didn’t expect to have this happen. I love my husband to death. And things happen. I had forgiven him or the wedding would not have still been happening. I couldn’t hold this against him. He had believed that we were over.

Since we knew ahead of time, I started spending more time with Marsha. I wanted to make sure that she ate right for the baby. We knew that she did not want the baby. We were very afraid that she would not do what she needed to do for it. We were allowed to name her since Marsha wanted no part of it. We named her Faith since she is our blessing. We brought Faith home from the hospital and she has been with us every since.

When Faith was two years old, Marsha started talking about joining the army. She was messed up with the wrong people by then. We found out that their older sister, Julie, had been taken by foster care by now. Her cousin had custody of Julie. Their brother, Jasper, was now living with his father, who had gotten married. With the instability of Marsha, my husband and I decided it was time for me to adopt Faith as my own. I will talk about the adoption in a later blog.

At the same time that we made the decision for me to adopt Faith, Marsha got married to Joey. This is the first time she has been married. Shortly into the marriage, she became pregnant with Jason. Joey became abusive. They ended up with Children Services being called. Jason was sitting in a pile of broken picture frames when they came. Children Services told Marsha that she could keep him if Joey left for the night. Joey returned that same night. Children Services came and took Jason out of the house. Jason was then placed with Marsha’s aunt, Paula.

Paula, Marsha's aunt, wanted more children. She wanted a little girl of her own. She and her husband went through infertilities treatments. A year later, she ended up having quads. So now Jason who is little more than a year old is in a house with ten kids. Four of those ten kids were newborns. Children Services began to watch Paula’s house until finally they had reason to go in and take Jason out of the home. I found out about that through a Myspace page.


So my kids have two other siblings, Julie and Jasper, out there. I can’t find them but some day I will. I know that they will want to know where they are.

*Disclaimer: All names are fictional. I have to protect their identities.

Mommy, Where are My Baby Pictures?

A simple question for most mothers but for me it’s a hard question when you have adopted an older child. Yes, we got Jason when he was 3 years old. But when I'm showing Faith her baby pictures, I don't have his. The look on his face killed me. He looked like I had punched him in the stomached. The county was supposed to give us a memory book since he was in foster care from 3 months old until we got him. We have nothing from him. Yes, we have pictures of him from when he was with us. He wants to see pictures of himself as a baby. He wants to see me holding him as a baby. He doesn't remember everything even now. He remembers a lot though. I hugged him close and told him that we love him. We talked again about how he is in our family because we love him. You see that’s the reason for the name of the website. My family is made from our hearts. One of the problems with adopting an older child is the connection that needs to be built. Oh, we love him and he loves us. But it took time to have that happen.

Can you imagine what it feels like to wonder why you aren't with your biological parents? Will I ever be able to fully explain that? No, I don't think so. All I can do is keep telling him how much we love him. Tell him that we are the most fortunate people in the world because we found him. Some day he will understand but how much can I expect a four year old to understand.

If anyone has an idea of how to make him comfortable about lack of pictures please leave me a comment.

Day's Beginning

Today started as a normal day.  I got up with the dog barking.  Jasmine, the newfoundland, has taken to barking first thing in the morning because she's hungry.  Its not a great sound to wake up to.  She is better than an alarm though.  Her stomache says when it is 6:30 a.m. I hate waking up to her barking but at the same time its the best thing for the family.

It benefits us in several ways.  The kids know they need to get up.  So since the dog is barking that means she wants food.  The kids are responsible for feeding the dogs.  Its one of their little jobs.  They feel very important and the dogs get fed. 

Question of the Day from a Friend

If your called Blind when you can't see and your called deaf if you can't hear.... What are you called if you can't smell?

The interesting part was I could not find the answer.  Anyone know?

Picture of the Day - Dog Praying

This picture just hit me so hard.  I always make the kids say prayers at meals and bedtime.  Jason is attached to Jasmine (the newfie) I can see her doing this grins.  The look on the boy's face kinda implies that he's looking at the dog under his lids.  But its the dogs look that takes my breath away.  Its the intensity on his face which shows more sincerity than you see in most people.

Picture of the Day - Tom Inquistive

Sometimes I wonder what cats are thinking. In this picture he is staring at me like he wants something. I don't know what he wants. Do cats think like we do? I wonder if he is thinking something like darn will that woman fill up my bowl or darn when will she pet me again. Do they wonder when we will feed them? Do they wonder where we go when we go out? When we will get back?

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Crazy Neighbors

I live in a nice neighborhood but my next door neighbor has tires in the front of her yard for flower planters. Ok I know that there are tires in others yards but they are painted. These aren't painted. They are simply black tires that she puts plants into. I think I live next to the hillbilly jones.

This woman is the hardest person to live next too. Recently, I think she has stopped drinking from 10 am on. But I'm not sure because she has not been mad at me lately. When she is mad at you, she will scream at you. She has pulled down her shirt to show my husband her tits and then her pants. Yes we saw it all. Now the part that really made me mad was that Faith was standing right there when she did it. That is not something you should do in front of kids. I hope the peace continues because I can't stand it if it doesn't.

I feel so stupid, Mom

Faith begged me this morning to let her walk down to the bus stop by herself. She said, "Mom, the other kids do not have parents down there. Please don't go with me. Please I feel so stupid."

I wanted to tell her No with a resounding shout. But I have to appreciate that she asked me not to. I have to know that my baby girl is growing up. I keep remembering her as this little bitty baby and she's not anymore. So I let her go. Now she knows, even though, I didn't say it. I watched from the porch step. I couldn't not watch so many things happening to kids nowadays.

I went through so many feelings though. I was sad because she didn't call me mommy like usual. She sounded way to grown up in that demanding voice when she said Mom. I am proud because she is becoming her own person which makes me sad. I am happy that she actually asked for what she needed.

Resurrecting The Boat

My husband has decided that the boat that we have had for over 9 years is going to go into the water on Sunday. He said he doesn't care what it takes but he is getting it ready to go. Now he has asked the neighbor across the street who owns a canoe to go with him so that if it doesn't float or it takes on water. Someone is there to rescue him. Do you think he is crazy?

Now he has painted it. In other words to make it look better. He spent $80 on back taxes since we never put it in the water we didn't pay them. Well we still have to pay them because it sits in the driveway gathering dust. We got a letter from the city last year that we needed to make an extension on the driveway. Now this extension was so that we could keep it behind the house. Other neighbors have their boats in their driveway. I feel so abused. But thats government.

Odds Both Kids Hurt

So what are the odds that both of my kids would be hurt during the same time? As everyone is aware, Jason got hurt by playing when the dog was hyper. Now Faith tells me that she hit the floor with her face. I don't quite buy that one. But she's sticking to that story. Jason's face is starting to look a little better. Both kids are now sporting that wonderful yellow and blue look now.

Free Things to Do With Your Children

This recession has made things especially tight for the family. Most of these are free or don’t cost very much. I was thinking how useful it would be to have a list of some ways to have fun without spending a lot of money:

1. Play sports together: soccer, basketball, baseball, kickball or football.
2. Paint or draw together.
3. Create a fort in your living room out of blankets or cardboard boxes.
4. Go on a hike.
5. Have a sunset picnic at a park or beach.
6. Play board or card games.
7. Go to a playground.
8. Find out what day your museum has a free day. Most do.
9. Play hide-and-seek.
10. Ride bikes or scooters.
11. Watch a movie and make popcorn.
12. Bake cookies (let the kids help).
13. Go to the zoo.
14. Go to the library.
15. Create a scrapbook.
16. Color together.
17. Make play dough from scratch.
18. Make homemade mini pizzas.
19. Go to a public place, people watch, and make up imaginary stories about people.
20. Visit family.
21. Create a treasure hunt for them (leaving clues around the house or yard).
22. Create a family book, with information and pictures about each family member.
23. Fly kites.
24. Donate stuff to charity.
25. Pitch a tent and sleep outside with marshmallows that you roast.
26. Have a water balloon fight.
27. Explore your yard and look for insects.
28. Go for a walk and explore the neighborhood.
29. Make hot cocoa.
30. Play school.
31. Play in the dirt together. Make mud pies or plates. You can even make up restaurant situations.
32. Sing songs.
33. Bake a cake and decorate it.
34. Play dress-up.
35. Thumb-wrestle, play mercy, or have a tickle fight.
36. Play “I Spy” in the car or during a walk.
37. Draw on the sidewalk with chalk
38. Set up plastic bottles and a ball to play a bowling game.
39. Make a mobile.
40. Take a Firehouse Tour
41. Create a collage
42. Make sock puppets.
43. Make pasta necklaces.
44. Go to the dog park.
45. Make a mask out of paper, string, and crayons.
46. Go sledding
47. Play Simon Says.
48. Catch lightning bugs.
49. Go to a community movie. Most cities have them.
50. Make and bury a time capsule.

Faith's New Hair Cut

My little angels at the Hair Salon. Faith was upset about Jason not getting a hair cut. She hates hair cuts and the only way to get her one is to come to this salon called Kids Corral. I really don't understand how they get such good cuts but they do. Her hair is long right now. She keeps eating the one side so off it is going.

As you can see from this picture, Faith's front teeth are just now coming in. She has this toothy grin and I love that grin. The beginning of the cut. She is rocking on a horse. Faith is smiling as she watches cartoons, rides the pony and gets her hair cut.

Final shot. Doesn't she look wonderful? I still would love to know who the bright one was that came up with this type of salon. A salon that caters to kids. Its a wonderful solution. I bet they make tons of money.

Poor Little Guy

Poor little Jason is wondering around trying to figure out what to do. He's so used to having Faith around that he is lonely without her. He is attempting giggles to play with Jasmine (the Newfy) who he is afraid of. I can't blame him for being afraid. Last night, he tried to take a toy and Jasmine jumped at him. She wasn't trying to bite him but she scratched the side of his eye. Not directly in his eye though. Today it looks bad.

Jasmine was hyper when it happened. She was playing rough with my husband. We had just told Jason not to mess with her. Being a boy he tried to go for it again.

My husband and I both feel awful about it but it happened so quickly. It was not a deliberate act. Its the cost of having a big dog though. She weighs about 70 lbs now. He weighs around 35 lbs. Do the math. If she gets excited, she is going to plow him down which is what happened.

Don't Send a Man to the Grocery

This is such a hoot, I laughed so hard, it brought tears to my eyes. It is a bit long but soooooo funny.

Quote of the Day

Live in the moment.. You don't have a second chance.

Joke for The Day - Life is Unfair

I lost my car keys at a ball game and
never found them.

I lost my sunglasses at the beach
and never found them.

I lost my socks in the washing machine
and never found them.

I lost three pounds on a diet --
I found them and five more."

Please look at this video - Cell Phone Spyware..Scared me

This freaks me out. Someone can literally listen to you on your cell phone with this software. Not only can they listen on the cell phone when you are talking, but they can turn your speaker on and listen to you when you aren't. They can get your text messages. Here is a link to see the message.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCyKcoDaofg



Please watch it!!!

Faith got on the Bus

Faith starts 1st grade today. I know its silly but I'm sad that she is gone. I should be used to this feeling. She did go to school last year for kindergarten. But this year is first grade which means all day. Jason and I are just kinda muddling around trying to get things done already. Faith was so excited today to be going. We walked down to the bus stop. I got worried. There were no other kids out. I started thinking maybe we missed the bus. So I call the school and talk to the receptionist. She said the bus should have been here between 8:05 - 8:10. I thought it was 8:13 which means we most likely missed it. I tell Faith that I will drive her to school. She is upset that she missed the bus. We had to resituate her car seat because Officer Strange gets them out on the left side. Just as we are pulling out of the driveway the bus comes by. Now she is really upset. But she got excited about Officer Strange getting her out. So she is fine.

Starting her new lifestyle of being out of the house all day. I miss her already. Jason and I came home and now he is watching Diego. I usually only allow them to watch a little bit of cartoons. Educational ones at least.

Daily Humor - Childbirth at 65

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

'May I see the new baby?' I asked

'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

'No, not yet,' She said.

After another few minutes had elapsed,

I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'

'No, not yet,' replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'

'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.........?!!'

Quote of Today .. Author unknown

Stand up straight. This makes you look like you respect yourself, and others will follow your lead. Plus, it has the visual effect of smoothing out any bulges that aren't particularly flattering.

Baby Showers

Something happened to me this weekend that I thought was a good topic to discuss on here. I was asked to hold a baby shower for someone that I barely know. There are two issues here:

1. I barely know her. It should be someone that knows her and loves her. Who is so excited about that baby being born.
2. My Infertility

I'm not going to talk about number 1 but number 2, I will talk about.
Most people that are infertile do not like baby showers. Much less to host one. I never hosted one for my sister or sister-in-laws yet alone a friend. I'm like most infertile women so I am going to do this in general terms. Most of us do not like to attend baby showers. It doesn't matter who the baby shower is for. It reminds us that we can't have our own biological child and it is a very painful reminder of what we don't have right now. Even though I have adopted my two wonderful children, it still hurts me. I don't believe that will ever go away.
I remember having to decide early on at work if I wanted others to know that I couldn't have children. I struggle to maintain friendships with women that are pregnant. My sister-in-law mentioned after both of her kids were born that I disappeared during her pregnancy. It was painful to be around her especially during the first birth which was before I adopted. Its not that we are not happy for the person. Its that the very fact that someone else is pregnant reminds us that we are not.
Attending a baby shower is excruciating painful. All those women happy beyond belief and talking about a baby. Future issues are discussed:

• How the baby will coo.
• How long they will sleep at night.
• How you won't get any sleep at first.
• Ear infections
• Is the baby room ready?

We become very good actors so that we do not visibly fall apart in front of friends, family and co-workers. It is very hard to be in a room of people talking about the future of a child. We want ours so desperately.
Some people disconnect physically as well. They don't attend baby showers, christening and turn down invitations from mothers if there will be discussions of children. They avoid that person at work that always talks about Jimmy or Sara's accomplishments.
I used to not go to baby showers at all. I told friends and family members not to even bother inviting me. I always got the invitations. I always sent something even though buying that gift cost me dearly.
Then you get the statements, "Listen to the doctor. You will have one." Or "You can adopt." Let me tell you I adopted. I love my children to death. But I still wish that I had that little girl who looks like me. Who has my eyes. Who has my fingers. Who has my husband's lips. So it doesn't go away. I still want my own child. But life goes on. And so do we.

Mint.com

For years I have used a number of different software programs to balance our money. Quicken, QuickBooks and a number of other financial programs have done the trick. However, I always felt it was difficult to truly know how much money we had. Then recently, one of our friends suggested I look at this great website that helps you get a clear picture of your money. Mint.com is touted as “the Best FREE Way to Manage Your Money”. At first I was very skeptical, as this site basically has access to all of your personal banking, investment and credit card accounts, then gives you a dashboard of where you are spending and if you are within your budget. However, as I started to research it more, and saw the secure features, it became more and more apparent that this is an amazing tool to have. The other amazing parts about it is the way it suggests lower interest rate credit cards & banks accounts to help you lower your debt faster. Plus, of course it can notify you either by email or by iPhone about your current spending and charges posted on the account. Mint.com has become a major asset in helping us get control of our current situation…check it out!

Marcus Feisel - So Sad

Today marks 3 years since 3 year old Marcus Feisel was killed.

Marcus Fiesel's foster parents knew all along their missing boy was dead, say Hamilton County prosecutors.

They knew, prosecutors say, because Liz and David Carroll Jr. left the 3-year-old alone for two days in a locked closet while they attended a family reunion. They knew because David Carroll later burned and hid Marcus' body.

They knew even as they cried before TV cameras, begging the community to help them find the missing boy.

That is the story authorities told Monday after charging the Carrolls with Marcus' death. The story is starkly different from the one the Carrolls told for 14 days.

"Everyone was aware, everyone covered up," said Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters at a press conference, flanked by Hamilton County Sheriff Simon Leis and Clermont County Prosecutor Don White.

"It really is one of the most heartless things I've ever seen," Deters said. "The bottom line is you wouldn't treat a dog like this."

Leis added, "In my 35 years involved in law enforcement, this is the worst I've seen."

A Hamilton County grand jury indicted the Carrolls on Monday on charges of involuntary manslaughter and two charges of child endangering, one for putting Marcus' safety at risk, the other for excessive restraint over a prolonged period of time.

David Carroll Jr., 29, also was charged with gross abuse of a corpse, accused of burning the body in Brown County.

Deters said those charges are preliminary, meant to hold the Carrolls during the investigation.

He said more serious charges are expected.

Both are being held in the Hamilton County Justice Center.

Bond is expected to be set at an arraignment today.

Under the charges filed Monday, Liz Carroll, 30, could face up to 23 years in prison. David Carroll Jr. could face up to 24 years in prison.

Prosecutors say they believe the boy's body was burned in Brown County and the remains were later dumped in or near the Ohio River.

Investigators spent Monday evening searching for Marcus' remains in Brown County at a two-story stone chimney, all that's left of a home on Marriott Road that burned years ago, said the owner of the property.

"We never smelled any smoke," said Mike Cales, 37, owner of the 85-acre property. His home is on the opposite side of the property from the chimney.

But he smelled smoke late Monday as he hovered near the chimney after investigators left.

"It just breaks my heart," said Paula Greer, the sister of David Carroll Jr.'s stepmother and the cousin of his mother, Debra Hounshell. "That's not how I wanted it to turn out. I wanted him to be picked up.

"My God," she said. "I didn't even think about him being burnt. That is the most horrible thing.

"My family is so torn apart. ... They lied. They lied. They lied," she said.

"I wanted him to be found alive," said Cherice Adkins, who is a second cousin and stepsister of David Carroll Jr. "I did. But I knew in my heart he was already dead.

"He was just an innocent baby," Adkins said. "I am so upset I cannot breathe."

The Clermont County Department of Job and Family Services took the Carrolls' four children into custody Monday.

Marcus' birth mother could not be reached for comment.

Thousands of people searched for Marcus since Aug. 15, when Liz Carroll said she fainted in Juilfs Park in Anderson Township and Marcus wandered off.

That same day Marcus had an appointment with Women, Infants and Children, a health and nutritional program for low-income children under the age of 5.

As the days slipped by there was no sign of the little boy, who was placed in the Carrolls' care in April because Marcus was found wandering in the street the night of April 22. The Carrolls were paid $1,000 a month to care for the little boy, who was developmentally delayed and suffered from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. He had the mental capacity of a 12- to 18-month old.

Liz Carroll told The Enquirer on Aug. 21 that neither she nor her husband hurt Marcus.

As time went by, authorities grew suspicious of the Carrolls.

No witnesses corroborated their story. No one other than Liz Carroll reported seeing Marcus in the park.

"Within a couple of days I knew full well that boy was never in the woods," Leis said.

But the Carrolls stuck to their story.

"They lied to the bitter end," Deters said.

Grand jury break
A break came Monday after the case went to a grand jury, Deters said.

He said investigators gathered information that showed the couple left their Union Township rental home the afternoon of Friday, Aug. 4, for Liz Carroll's family reunion in Williamstown, Ky., leaving Marcus in a small closet inside a playpen-type crib with no food or water, just an electric fan.

"They intentionally left him there," Deters said.

The Carrolls returned home at 7 a.m. Sunday to find Marcus dead, Deters said.

David Carroll Jr. then took Marcus' body to an abandoned house in Brown County and burned it, Deters said.

Four days later the Carrolls told a caseworker Marcus was ill, turning her away, Deters said. That gave them five days to cook up the tale they told in Juilfs Park.

Authorities said the hoax ultimately worked against them because they started to contradict themselves in their public statements.

"The more they talk the better off we are," Leis said.

Hamilton County Coroner O'dell Owens, who was reached while on vacation and was not involved with the case Monday, said heat, not the lack of food and water, likely killed Marcus.

The high temperatures Aug. 4 through the Aug. 6 ranged from 87 to 92 degrees.

Children are more vulnerable then adults, but typically it is possible to go three days without food and water, Owens said.

"In a closet, you are going to get very little heat exchange," Owens said. "He also may not have been fully hydrated. It may not have taken three days; he could have been gone in 24 hours; that closet could have gotten up to 105, 110 degrees and that's heat stroke area.

"It doesn't take that long," Owens said.

Deters said investigators decided to use the grand jury because witnesses are questioned under oath. If they lie, it can mean up to five years in prison.

Prosecutors often use that tactic to get witnesses and suspects talking.

Deters said various witnesses were called, but grand jury proceedings are secret.

Arrest times suggest Liz Carroll was called to the grand jury and her husband was not.

Liz Carroll was arrested at the prosecutor's office at 2 p.m., but David Carroll was arrested at the Clermont County home on Mount Carmel-Tobasco Road where the couple was staying.

Amy Baker, David's girlfriend who lived with him and his wife in Union Township, knew Marcus lived with the family and attended the reunion without Marcus, according to relatives.

She was not charged.

"She still may be," Deters said. "We're continuing to investigate. A decision will be made in the next 10 days."

Deters would not say whether Baker testified or say who else was called.

Shortly after charges were filed, investigators did another search of the Carrolls' Valley Wood Drive home in Union Township.

Caseworkers angered
Jann Heffner, executive director of Butler County Children Services Board, sent out a prepared statement, saying caseworkers were "saddened and outraged" by Marcus's death.

"Marcus was a wonderful child who had a great deal of promise. His death has devastated our entire agency - especially those caseworkers and supervisors who had the pleasure of knowing him personally. We grieve for Marcus and those who loved him," the statement said.

Deters said Marcus should never have been placed with the Carrolls.

An agency called Lifeway for Youth, a faith-based private agency, recruited and trained the Carrolls and recommended them to Butler County authorities when they needed a place for Marcus.

Lifeway is now under investigation by the state.

Local counties have halted placements through Lifeway.

State Sen. Gary Cates of West Chester said the state needs to answer questions about how Marcus ended up with the Carrolls. "If there is a problem in the system, I want to change the law to get the system fixed," he said. "If there is a problem with somebody in the bureaucracy who messed up, I want to find out who messed up.

"I want to find out who failed in this situation," Cates said.

Proud of community
Deters said people in the community, the thousands who searched, may feel betrayed, but they shouldn't.

"I've never been more proud of law enforcement," Deters said. "And I've never been more proud of the community at large."

Many of those who helped search for Marcus held a candlelight vigil at the Carrolls' former residence Monday night.

Late into the night the crowd left, but left behind messages of sadness.

Candles, no longer lit, were placed in the shape of a heart and Marcus' initials, M and F.

Three bouquets of flowers and stuffed animals lay in front of the house.

Kandy Meadors, who lived down the street from the Carrolls' rental house and whose 11-year-old son occasionally played with the Carroll children, said it was hard to understand how parents could harm a child.

"I can't believe this. I just can't comprehend it," she said. "All mothers will cry over this, every mother on the street is crying."

Meadors' husband, Ed, said after Marcus disappeared, he occasionally saw the Carrolls drive by.

"They'd just wave and smile, drinking their Mountain Dew," Ed Meadors said. "I hope they get what they deserve."

Staff writers Eileen Kelley, Quan Truong, Sheila McLaughlin and Dan Horn contributed from Cincinnati.com.

Blogs I visited

I have visited some blogs for the last three days. If I haven't gotten to yours I will. I am just so amazed at all of your blogs. I learned so much and feel such an amateur right now. I set up my Facebook and connected to quite a few of you. I decided that I wanted to comment on some of them so that others might check your blog.

Ziggy's - Your blog has so much valuable information. I love the blog about Salvia Divinorium. I knew nothing about it. The blog is very colorful and attractive to the eye.

Simply Me - First off, the title on your blog takes my breath away "The Love of a Family Makes Life Beautiful". It is simply the reason for my existence, my family, so I loved that fact that you call it that. The contest for the cleaning is simply a great thing to post about. I really like it. I definitely understand not getting your husband to do the cleaning lol. But there is so much information on your site. I will be reading a lot more about it.

TicTacDough - What a wonderful product to have come up with. I wouldn't mind some TicTacDough for my kids. They love playdoh. I do have to keep them close on that though. I don't want to talk about where it has ended up. I love the stories you write about your kids. I love the dresses that you sell. I will be back often to your blog. I loved your layout so much so that I contacted your designer lol.

Military Wife Mayhem - I love the article about disclipine. I'm a softie myself so I was always wondering about others. I'm new at parenting so tips are always wonderful things. Lots and lots of good information on your blog. I like your sense of humor. I will be back often.

Mommy Is Rock And Roll - I love your sense of humor. You have tons of information on your site. I definitely connected to the no sleep issues. I tend to have that even today. Jason gets up like clockwork at 6:30 doesn't matter if I got to sleep the night before. I like the fact that you could talk about your fear of flying so openly. Great blog.

But Mama, I'm Hungry! - All I had to do was look at the header when I opened your page. I was hungry. And then reading the blog, I went off to cook lol. My kids adore the cookies and creams cupcakes. If you want a good recipe, check her site out.

La Dolce Vita - I love the jewelry that you sell and the Featured Reader section. There were lots of good reviews on your site. I will be back often to see more information.

Mom's Marbles - First off I love your title. I immediately pictures the marbles leaving my head. I love the movie information. Doing reviews on movies is a great idea. I know I will be back to check those out. I, also, liked the details about the zoo and how it can help keep the kids busy.

Moving on From the Drama - Lots of information on your site. I love the trip to the zoo. I particularly love the blog about being sued by your mother in law. I will be back lots to see more information.

Just a little bit of information on blogs that hold my interest. More to come.

Mom Can I Go Swimming

Apparently the child wants to swim in that green guck in the pool. Its so hot here lately that when the sun hits the pool its turns green. Am I going to allow Faith or Jason in that? No the answer is No. You are not going swimming. Ok, puts on the list for my husband to work on. That is not going to work at all. No green pool for the kid. Why does the sun affect water like that? Yesterday the water was fine. Today it has green algae in it. No the kids can't swim in that.

Ok so I know that my husband will tell me that he needs to put chemicals into it. Then he has to take a vacuum and clean the walls and the floor of the pool. We have some kind of chemical called Shock that he will use as well to put the chlorine back in the pool. He has to run the pump for a while to help circulate the water.

But the question still remains, the kids are still saying "Mom I want to go swimming."

Cold Calling Prospectives

Today everyone is using emails and online social networking to find jobs, still the old technique of selling yourself over the telephone works but is overlooked today. These calls are met with a lot of rejection. One of the main reasons is that the prospective employer is not looking for that call to happen. They are not prepared to take it. And then going right beside that is that, the person calling them is not prepared as well.

Here are some things to help prepare you if you decide to cold call:

1. Know yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses. If you are shy, you probably will have a harder time on cold calling. If you are outgoing, you might have a better chance. But know your weaknesses before you call.

2. Call the right person. If you want to cold call than find out who the person is that is hiring for the position. Calling a recruiter is not going to get the job. Find out that manager's name that you would be working for.

3. Have a pitch. Be prepared to sell yourself, your strengths, your knowledge. Remember that half the point of the call is to get your audience's attention within 10 seconds. Have a punch line, like "Hi, I'm Amber Smith. I worked for one of your competitors for the last 10 years and managed their lines. I think I would be perfect for an Administrative job with your organization. Would it be possible to set up a meeting?

4. Practice Practice Practice - I can not stress how important it is to practice your speech before you call. The more you practice the less likely you will get thrown a curve ball.

5. Follow Up. You called them. You gave your pitch then send a letter to acknowledge that you are very interested in the position.

Good luck.

Money

It’s that time again when you are trying to make everyone happy. Trying to keep the budget down where it is suppose to be. Yet it’s impossible. I want to do so many things at once, and nothing seems to get accomplished. I want to be the fun, happy go lucky girl I once was, not dragged down with all this stress and irritation. It seems like if I just had the money to get through this, everything would be fantastic. That the root of the problem, money, it’s never enough, and we don't ever have it. But I know, I KNOW money is NOTHING when it comes to happiness... Yet I can't help feeling stressed out due to the lack of money. I know what's important its family, friends, people, things that cannot be replaced. But I want to be able to give things to my family and friends. I want to buy that pretty dress that Faith wants and doesn't need it. It brings me down when I can't. This time of year is so busy for us and there is never enough to get everything accomplished. October brings Faith's birthday as well as Halloween. November brings Thanksgiving. December as we all know too well brings Christmas and then New Years Eve. I can't seem to balance it all and it’s dragging me down.

It seems like that struggle for me everyday... in almost every way. When will it get easier? When will I see the finish line near? I do the best that I can in teaching my kids not to desire material things, to value the little things in life. Sometimes it’s just not enough. Sometimes I want things, they want things. I hate wanting things. I hate feeling depressed. I just needed to vent a minute before I went insane. Today is not one of my happier ramblings, hopefully I perk up again tomorrow.

Frustrating Parents

I just got off the phone with my sister. As you all know, she moved to Florida a few years back and now I am responsible for making sure my family up here stays together. I am not an organizer. I am not the glue that will hold this family together. I'm lucky to hold my own little family together. She wanted to talk about my mother. My mom and dad got divorced like 3 years ago as well. Great time for sis to have moved. Anyway, so mom is not talking to her lawyer about my dad not paying her. They owned a company together and dad had to buy her out with monthly payments after the divorce. He's not living up to his part of the deal. My mom is struggling with her money because she isn't getting the payments. I need to call mom about it. Now how do I broach that?

Moving to a New Site

Ok I decided to bite the bullet and go ahead and set up my own website. Lord knows I have no clue so this should be fun.

10 Years Ago

Ok so I'm listening to the radio. I heard this remark that people wouldn't recognize themselves if they went back 10 to 20 years in their lives. Well I started thinking about it.

Lets see would I recognize myself 10 years ago...

• Well I would have been with my husband back then..
• I was having my fantasies already
• No kids yet
• Working outside the house
• Partying..Dancing

Ok I kinda recognize that but I have changed a lot since then. Lets see lets try 20 years ago

• Married and in love with Michael, my first husband
• He passed away
• Single and dating.. enjoying sex with my buddy
• Still having fantasies
• Working outside the house

Yes my life has definitely changed somewhat

Shopping

So Faith and I ran to Walmart yesterday to get school supplies. Now I'm looking at this list of supplies that she needs for first grade. I'm simply amazed that they want so much stuff.

Its a wonder that parents can afford to send their kids to public school as well. Now I don't mind supplying my child with her supplies but why does she need 24 pencils, 6 glue sticks, 4 boxes of crayons? I don't believe that she will use all that. I, also, know throughout the year they will ask us to buy more stuff.

Oh well. She is my baby girl.

Blessings

Today since its Sunday. My thoughts have turned to my blessings. I am so lucky to have what I have in my life. When I was 18 years old, I had to be rushed into the emergency room. That was the beginning of the endometrosis cycle that I call it that lead to my infertility. I was married to a wonderful man named Michael when I turned 18 years old. His life was very short but I was blessed to have known him. He taught me how important life really is. He never complained. He always asked people how they were. Never once telling them just how badly he felt. I learned unconditional love through him. He loved everyone and enjoyed his life. He taught me to value all of the special moments in life.

Then when I was 23 years old, I had my hysterectomy. I remember crying and thinking that I would never have any kids. If I had only known what today would hold. For the next 9 years, I dated off and on. Different people. Never really thought much of it. I mean why get married since I couldn't have kids. I mourned Michael during that time as well.

The fateful night came that I was at a friend's house when my future husband walked in. I thought he was fun. He was 11 years younger than me. And that meant he was going to be a playmate not a future for me. Well low and behold, I ended up married to him. Except not before we almost split right before the marriage. And he being a man and thinking it was over turned to a close friend of mine. Now I had practically helped raise her during the years with Michael so it was a shock to me. Well it was a one night thing so they both have told me.

So the wedding plans were back on. She calls him to tell him that she is pregnant and if he doesn't want the baby she will abort it. Well, my prayers were answered. How could I say no and there was no way that he could. We ended up with our daughter, Faith, 8 months after we got married. So here I am 38 years old and a brand new mommy to a brand new baby. We brought her home from the hospital. I still can't believe how that worked out.

I went through the process in the court system to make her legally mine. The process is called step-parent adoption. Basically, we had to have three lawyers. One to protect my rights, One to protect my husband's rights and one to protect her biological mom's rights. Then Faith had to have a GAL (Guardian Attorney Litem) basically someone to protect her rights as well. Someone has to speak to the welfare of the child as well. She became legally mine.

We were going along life just having fun when we found out that Faith's biological mom had another child, Jason. Jason was now in foster care which I found out by looking at Faith's biological aunt's Myspace. I can't believe that someone would put that on a Myspace but they did. Apparently, her mom gave him to his aunt when he was one month old. Her aunt had him until he was 2 1/2 years old. Thats when the court system stepped in and took him away from his aunt. Now he was in foster care. So we stepped up to begin the process of adopting him through foster care. I will talk about that later on.

Ok so now I have two wonderful children, Jason and Faith. They are biological half sister and brother. So they look alike. How lucky can I get. My husband and I are blessed.

Jasmine

This is our wonderful puppy, Jasmine. She is eight months old now and weighs about 65 lbs. She is a Newfoundland which means that she will be a horse some day. We first were looking for a black lab to replace the one that recently we had to put down. We had to put him down because he bit our daughter, Faith.

I found Jasmine on the internet at a local "no-kill" shelter. She was just 8 weeks old. The kids and I feel in love with her instantly when we saw her. She was this bundle of fur. I wanted to bring her home right away. The shelter had strict rules though. She was not allowed to leave until she was 9 weeks old.  My husband and Lucky (the sheltie) had to see her too before we could get her.

The day that we went to get her. I remember them carrying her towards us. My husband says, "What is that a monkey?" All he could see was her belly and all this hair. They reminded us again how big she could get. But we were in love with her already.

She is the most friendly dog we have ever had. She is very much a people dog. She is my husband's dog. I tried but she wants him. And wants to be a lap dog too. He let her start and now look what he gets. grins

Husband comes home early

My husband came home early today. He played outside with the kids making hopscotch and then drawing Jason as a died guy like on the cop shows. They were having so much fun. Jason kept saying that he couldn't be dead yet. When my husband finished the drawing, Jason wanted him to put clothes on it. He said it was naked and it wasn't right. grins.

Look at Faith in the picture. She has no teeth its amazing. It was a very peaceful day to watch them. Faith and Jason rode their bikes after that for about 2 hours. Its nice when he can come home early but it does make me worry about expenses then. Good and bad.

McDonalds

My sister in law called and we took all the kids to McDonalds. I took this amazing photo on the Pantech. I have no idea why it came out so good but I love the effects. Jason was having a blast just being a kid. There are so many times that I wish he would stop acting so old. He was tossed from house to house. At 3 years old, he had already had 4 mommies. Thats just a little too much. I don't understand how foster care can do that to kids. Such a shame and the effect that it has on them is crazy.

New Babies Suggestions

I had a friend asking me what I did to get used to a new baby in the house. Here are my suggestions to her:

Get on a schedule. That whole thing about 'sleep when the baby sleeps' only works if you have one baby. When you have a new baby plus a two-year-old running around, there's no way to nap when the baby naps, so you have to buckle down and get the whole family on a routine. On the rare occasion they may both be sleeping at the same time, lay down even if you cannot get any actual sleep.

So many new moms make the mistake of trying to get things done while the kids are sleeping. I would encourage Instead, I suggest you schedule your activity concurrent with theirs. My kids loved to color or play a game in the kitchen while I fixed dinner. It is noisy. But at least we were both getting things done and they were where I could keep an eye on them.

Accept help. If someone offers to watch either of them for a few hours, say YES. Even if you prefer to keep the visitors to a minimum and think you are doing well, you need this.

Get some sleep. The only real cure for lack of sleep is sleep. You may be deprived for a while, but get some sleep whenever you can and note that the quality of the sleep is as important as the quantity, so when you can, make it as restful a sleep as possible.

When you are sleep deprived you can suffer from numerous negative effects that lack of sleep causes including irritability, loss of emotional control. Pro-longed sleep deprivation can impair your immune system making you more susceptible to getting sick and fighting off infections. Because you are tired, you may start eating more to compensate for the lack of energy and your metabolism will get sluggish - making it harder to lose the baby fat and susceptible to gaining weight. It even impairs your memory and physical coordination.

Just remember, you can do this and breath!

Pantech Slate Review

Ok I bought this phone, the Pantech Slate. I can't stand this phone but that's my personal opinion. I do like the fact that it is slim enough to fit in my pocket. It is only .38 inch thick. I love the wider screen as well. The camera on it does not take good pictures. Every picture I took has lines across it. Although it does have a nice keyboard, my fingers are too big for it.

Now the video recorder is excellent if you are far away from the image. It is Bluetooth so that's a good thing.

Now when I tried to connect to the internet, I couldn't post to certain website. The dealer told me that was because the phone could not handle it. Defeated my whole purpose of having the phone.

I would not recommend this phone to someone that wants to use it for the internet. Although I would recommend it for a texting phone.

Love She Found In Me

This is my favorite song of all time.


"The Love She Found In Me" by Gary Morris.


She looked into a heart so sad
And saw what no one ever had
Beneath the snow she saw the spring
She finds good in everything.

Give her thorns and she'll find the roses
Give her sand and she'll find the sea
Give her rain and she'll find the rainbows

Just see the love she found in me
Just see the love she found in me

She looks beneath each tear that's cried
And somehow sees the sunny side
Even on the darkest night
She knows where to find the light.

Give her thorns and she'll find the rose
Give her sand and she'll find the sea
Give her rain and she'll find the rainbow

Just see the love she found in me

When the world starts closing in
She gives me strength to smile again

Give her thorns and she'll find the rose
Give her sand and she'll find the sea
Give her rain and she'll find the rainbow

Just see the love she found in me
Just see the love she found in me

Coupons and Shopping

I was watching Oprah today on tv when she was talking to this lady that saves money by clipping coupons. We watched her on tv go from $134 bill to $34. Her site was http://www.couponmom.com/. I went to the site. It will let you bring up in any state the grocery stores in your neighborhood. Now its a free site so feel free to sign up. I really advise you to check it out.

Things I Am Thankful For

Today I wanted to write down why I was thankful.. (in no specific order)

1. I’m thankful that I have my health
2. I’m thankful that I have my babies
3. I’m thankful that I have my job no matter that I’m not happy with it right now
4. I’m thankful that my mother is still with us
5. I’m thankful that my father is in one piece..though I’m not sure he's as happy
6. I’m thankful for my friends
7. I’m thankful for my beliefs and God above
8. I’m thankful for the roof over my head
9. I’m thankful when a child is not beaten
10. I’m thankful for the doctors who find cures
11. I’m thankful for the mechanics that fix my car
12. I’m thankful for my brothers and sisters and their families
13. I’m thankful that I can share pizza night with my kids
14. I’m thankful for my vision
15. I’m thankful for my hearing
16. I’m thankful for the food that fills our bellies
17. I’m thankful that I have the money to cloth my children
18. I’m thankful that there are people like CPS
19. I’m thankful for finding people that understand my desires
20. I’m thankful for the ones that love me
21. I’m thankful for the fact that I can bring joy into people's lives
22. I’m thankful for my cat
23. I’m thankful for my dogs
24. I’m thankful for fishing
25. I’m thankful that I can write my feelings down
26. I’m thankful that the teachers that teach my kids
27. I’m thankful for the fireman and policeman that are there to protect
28. I’m thankful for good books
29. I’m thankful for the oxygen that i breath
30. I’m thankful for the flowers and the bees
31. I’m thankful for all of god's little creatures
32. I’m thankful for the grass on the ground
33. I’m thankful for architects who can build anything
34. I’m thankful for the Internet that allows us to grow
35. I’m thankful for my friends
36. I’m thankful for .....

It goes on and on. I could do this all day. I am thankful for everything..every second..every moment of my life...

Trip to Kmart - YIKES!!!

Ok so I go to Kmart to get school clothing. I made a major mistake which nearly broke my heart. I let Faith to to the bathroom by herself after checking the restroom to make sure that it was empty. I was looking at toddler's clothing which is right next to the hall that goes into the bathroom. I knew no one could get into that bathroom without me seeing them. I got distracted looking at sweat suits while she was in there.

When she came out, she went the other way. Even though, she knew where I was. I didn't see her coming out. I went to check on her. It couldn't have been five minutes. She wasn't in the bathroom. So I started to call her name. No answer. Then there is this public announcement security call. Now I'm freaking out so I head for the front of the store. Then the announcement comes on again. If you have lost your daughter who is 6 please come to layaway.

Well I didn't know where layaway was but I started looking. I finally get there. She is fine but a little shaken. I'm very fortunate. She actually had a store clerk come up to her because she looked scared. I asked her why she didn't come to me after coming out of the bathroom. She forgot where I was. She had to have walked right by me. But she's ok!!! Thank God! I would have died if something bad had happened. That I can assure you will not happen again.

Ok so I finish shopping and go to the checkout lane. There is one lane open and that one is in training. So I knew right off it was going to be a while. I wait like 10 minutes before the cashier finally gets to me. I write a check for the first time since my wallet was stolen. The cashier puts it in her machine and it’s refused!!!! Now I know there is money in there but they refused my check. They said that this new company called Certegy Check Services told them to deny my check. Now I know what Chex Systems is but this new company I had no clue of. I was so embarrassed. All these customers are staring at me while I look for my credit card which I didn't want to use.

So I get home and I call this CERTEGY CHECK SERVICES. They told me that it was a clerical error. I'm still ticked.

Angels sleep

I’m sitting here watching my daughter, Faith, sleep on the couch right now and such peace has stolen into my heart. But sadness is also dwelling there for just a moment. It was a really busy day today. I usually try to find time to write though. To journal my thoughts. But its times like right now that I see my daughter’s face and wish there was someone to share the joy of her. She is so beautiful…so sweet and a gentle nature of her own. She is always trying to help someone and I hope that is because I set the example for her. I didn’t have the heart to wake her and send her to bed.

I would move but for only one reason

Everyone has one of those neighbors that you can't stand to be around or for your kids to be around. The lady next door is a full time drunk. I know she doesn't take care of her kids and thats she is drunk all the time. I know that the kids don't get fed until like 10 p.m. I know that because the neighbors on the street tell me that the kids for begging again. Its not that they don't have the money for food. Its that she and her husband throw their money away on beer. I really feel sorry for her kids. I can't let my kids play with hers because they do things that make no sense to me. It points to such worse things. Like the daughter one day pulled her pants down because the boys up the street wouldn't play with her. The son is always trying to hug my 5 year old. I just can't take the chance that they would hurt my kids.

When she first moved in, she wasn't that bad or she was acting. Anyway, its been five year nows and its torture. The kids can't even walk out the door without them swarming us. The entire neighborhood knows how bad she is. They even have the standing joke when their garage goes up that "The bar is open". They've reported her to children services at least 4 times. The police have been here for domestic violence on them. You mention her to the police now and they are like she's a joke or something. They have a gun in that house and I have to place peace maker. She is just one of those loose cannons.

This Sunday I had this headache. I was like man it doesn't feel like a migraine but it wouldn't go away no matter what I took. And believe me I tried. Well I didn't go outside at all because of it. Now I think that its because she was burning her garbage in the backyard because she doesn't want to pay a $33 bill every 3 months for garbage disposal. Oh well off my drama box lol.