Monday, November 2, 2009

Men-o-pause - What I hate about it



This is not PG. But it is a fact of life.


Ok so we ate the apple. Have you ever wondered why it is that we were tempted by the apple in the first place? I mean shouldn't the men get some of the wonderful experiences that us women get? Oh wait my husband just told me that they do. They get Men-o-pause which means they get psycho women who won't give out.

Well ok they deserve this! Come on we suffer through periods, being pregnant and then. Then the grand mama of them all... menopause. YUCKKY!!!

So let's see what I hate about Men-o-pause:

1. I HATE...I do mean HATE that sex isn't as good because my v-g dried up that have never dried up before. Hey why can't their sperm dry up instead? So when this happens to women’s v-g, men have a midlife crisis and want that 20 something chick. Now that doesn't seem fair does it? I actually heard more foreplay with this as well but if you have a man that doesn’t like that much foreplay to start... you are so in trouble. This so does not work if you have married a man 10 years younger than yourself.

2. I HATE that I feel like I'm leaving my memory on the other side of the room every day. Can't men have that issue as well? They aren't the full time bread winners anymore. I don't want to look for my glasses that are on the top of my head again. Please give him this symptom. But there is a nice side to this as well. I forget why I was mad at him faster.

3. I HATE hot flashes. I don't want to wear layered clothes. I don't want to sweat in the middle of the night. Come on now... if I wanted to go swimming in the pool at night... wouldn't God have given all women swimming pools for that?

4. I HATE hormone replacement. Look I don't want to take a pill a day because I can't have children anymore. Let him take that pill for me. So I hear that if you take one kind too long, you can get cancer. I'll take the mood swings please.

5. I HATE mood swings. Ok sometimes I love them because I've never cried or screamed so much in my life. Talk about getting rid of stress. BUT I have two small children that don't need that. I think I could do with out the mood swings on everyone on this one. No shootings please. Yes it does go through your mind when your husband says “take a chill pill.” You instantly think where’s the gun? And this is the man that I love.

6. I HATE that when I can't sleep. He's sleeping peacefully next to me. Men-o-pause please give me back my sleep. I feel like the baby is brand new again.

7. I HATE that when I have a hot flash... I feel like everyone knows. Like my face is poker red and they can see me sweating. It’s disgusting.

8. I HATE the fact that since I started Menopause I have gained weight that just won't get off my hips. Please explain why it won't. I go for walks. I play with the kids. I exercise (not regularly) but I still do. It stays with me.

Ok let’s see what do women have to put up with all of their lives.
Now let me tell you after dealing with PMS which translates in my mind to Putting up with Men’s Stuff (PG Remember), I thought that Menopause would be easy. I see the word and instantly think men-o-pause. So that goes to reason that women take a break from men. Well doesn’t it?



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13 comments:

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

AMEN!

Just Breathe said...

I hate it too! The weight gain is the worst, it just won't come off. All the woman in my family get the belly, I HATE IT! No fair!

Amy said...

I hope you make it through this hard time. Yucky.....

Helene said...

You said it, girl!! I'm in the midst of it myself and the worst thing is the mood swings. I'm up one day, down the next...my family walks on eggshells around me most of the time.

I can't remember anything half the time unless I write it down!

blueviolet said...

I'm not quite there yet but now I'm scared to death!

Buckeroomama said...

I'm not quite there yet, but I think I might be getting there soon... yikes!

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I DREAD it!!!

kys said...

I'm getting there. Rapidly.

Clueless_Mama said...

I have to tell you, I am so not looking forward to this!! Although I am sure it won't be long before I am there.

Thena said...

I can so relate. I take black cohosh for my hot flashes but it also helps with the mood swings. Because there is some days I can't even stand to be around myself. The weight gain oh my I think I gained 20 lbs overnight. I didn't know what was going on. Then I heard Dr. Phil's wife(Robin) talking about her new book about the weight gain. And the light bulb went off. lol

Julie said...

I love it, I love it....someone thinking and sharing my exact thoughts. It isn't easy to say the least, this men-o-pause. Try this....
CRS....can't remember stuff
CHS....can't hear stuff
CSS....can't see stuff
And I'm not that old yet, not 50 yet....wonder just how long this men-o-pasue lasts..?..

AMH615 said...

It's just around the corner for me and I can't imagine! I already forget everything and have night sweats and mood swings! My hubby is drinking something with ice in it right now and I want to rip the clanky thing from his arm... what does that mean for my future??

marion said...

Tami I have never met you girl, but I feel like I know you. You are so on the money, and funny to boot. Love your post. :-) :-) Marion