Saturday, November 21, 2009

Gripes about Foster Care NOT helping

Ok my budget just got shot to heck and back.  My furnace stopped working last night.  We had a service man out.  He told us that it could run anywhere between $3,000 to $5,000.  Yikes!!  I thought I was finally getting a handle on things and wham!!  This totally stinks!

I'm going nuts. It's the one thing that I need to be able to afford but can't.  So I touch on the fact that I'm at home with the kids.  My husband makes good money but it puts me in the middle class.  Well ok.  You all know what I think about the middle class.  I think its non-existence.  We simply are stuck sometimes.  I was making such great money before Jason came.  Don't get me wrong.  I do NOT nor will I ever regret getting Jason.  It's just that we could afford so much more.  And yes, I let the bills run up.  We could afford it.  We were going somewhere.

Jason came.  I had to quit my job.  Now here's the interesting part, we chose to go after Jason.  We would do it again.  But we both EXPECTED that since he was in foster care that we would get help from the state.  That's not how it was at all.  Jason is related to my seven year old daughter, Faith.  So it's a relation adoption.  Which means the state does not help out at all.  They don't give you any financial help at all.  They don't give you daycare expenses.  He was coming from another foster care provider who got daycare expenses.  They don't give you any kind of financial support at all.  We were lucky to get a medical card on him before we adopted him.  So basically the state used us for babysitting while he was still a WARD of the STATE's.  He wasn't even ours for a year while he was here.  We couldn't claim him on our taxes either this year because he had to be with us for six months.  Technically he was with us from the end of July.  Basically foster care screwed us.  I couldn't work anymore because Jason required that extra time.  I couldn't put him in daycare because I didn't have the money to do so.  And the state would NOT help.  I asked for help and they turned me down when technically he was LEGALLY theirs.

Ok so here is the my actual complaint.  My husband and I are NOT related to Jason at this point.  My seven year old daughter was.  So where was she suppose to get the money to support him??  He was a WARD of the court.  We had to live by their rules yet we had to pay for it.  Where are all the families that go after their relative's children who went into foster care for some ungodly reason going to get the money to support the child?  Is foster care letting us down as a nation? I have to save YES.  

Again we would still have adopted him no matter what but I wanted to finally say something.


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11 comments:

Menopausal New Mom said...

Very interesting post, it appears you have found a huge loophole in the system that needs to be addressed. Of course, knowing all of this in advance would not have stopped you but just seems to be so unfair to all involved. How many kids don't have permanent homes because of this? Scary thought.

BTW, sorry about your furnace! A bill like that sucks anytime of year!

NovaS said...

Thanks for the visit and comment to my swf...more power....

Vodka Logic said...

wow they want people to adopt yet they make it so difficult. I am sure there are more financially strapped families that would adopt but dont because of the lack of support from the system. And they are probably wonderful families.
Good on you for persuing and stating what you feel.

Good luck with the furnace

Just Breathe said...

I don't know anything about this but I can't believe that they do not pay you. That doesn't make any sense at all. The government scews us in so many ways. ((HUGS))

Jayne Martin said...

I bet you are not alone in this dilemma. With your knowledge of the subject and writing skills, you could probably affect change. Have you written a letter to the editor of your newspaper about this issue, with a copy to your representatives? It has to start somewhere. So sorry about the furnace. And if you want to read a good book about the war on the middle class, read "Screwed" by Thom Hartman. My best wishes to you...

Kristie said...

There are so many things that are messed up with government and the things they run. I'm so sorry for all the financial burden they have caused you. I'll be praying for you that it all works out! :-)

Foster/AdoptiveMom said...

If the state would provide relatives with financial help there would be a lot more relatives coming foward to take the children! I know a family who provides 24 hour care for two disabled adults. When their sons ex-wife's child was removed (not the sons child) this family took the child in. But because they get help from the state for these two disabled residents they can't get any help for the child because they "can't receive help from two different departments at the same time."

Mrsblogalot said...

I'm so glad you are speaking up Tami. This system needs mucho work! I hope more people chime in!

Frugal Vicki said...

Very interesting post! You would think they would WANT to encourage family of any type to take care of the kids...seems like a discouragement to me.

blueviolet said...

That's just outrageous, especially with so many people sitting at home doing absolutely nothing but easily collecting welfare payments. Different departments, but it just shows how broken it is.

Noelle said...

grrrrrr. i wish you peace with the foster care issue.

i'm so sorry about your furnace. it's never a good time for this to happen, but especially right now. i totally feel your pain right now. while our furnace hasn't gone out, i'm not working (got laid off last month) and hubby's job is slooooowwww. but...it's going to make us enjoy each other more instead of the "stuff". hang in there! ;)