Saturday, July 18, 2009


We start the foster care program back in October 2007. It has been the hardest thing we have ever gone through. When they say they want foster care parents, they are really saying they want perfect people. We definitely aren't. I'm not the typical mommy. We only did it because my daughter's half brother was in foster care. We wanted him so that they could grow up together. We did not want to take the chance of losing him in the system.

So we started the process. First thing we had to do was go through 10 weeks of training. The class was once a week for 3 hours each time. Now my husband has ADD so keeping him in still was next to impossible during that time. As you will learn as you read my blog, he also says whatever is on his mind at the time. Now most people love him so thats good. He loves people. And he will talk about anything that comes up. Unfortunately, I can also say the wrong things at the wrong time. I'm shy which doesn't help matter so people don't get the chance to really know me. I would think by the end of the class they knew my husband by his name. I was just his wife.

Ok during the training, we have to have various things we have to do such as: credit checks, FBI checks, criminal background checks, personal references, get the house ready which means totally revamping the house which is small, and take extra classes. Did I mention that I was working at home as a recruiter and my husband had to work 40-60 hours at his job as a plumber while this was going on? Not to mention taking care of everything at home as well. We were a little nuts and exhausted. I was wondering if they wanted our first born by now.

Finally in April, we get to meet Jason. We start seeing him once a week. We think everything is going great. We are painting his room and buying things for him by now. Nothing bad was mentioned to us yet. I should have known that it was coming. Our credit is not perfect and neither of us had the perfect childhood. At the end of June, our caseworker goes on vacation. We get to meet her supervisor who tells me, "The next meeting is coming up and anyone that wants a 3 year old little boy can be there to try and get him." Ok now.... This was a total shock. We thought we were a shoe in. She's telling us not to plan anything at all for him.

So the our original caseworker comes back from vacation a week later and sits down with me. My husband is watching the kids and we are at Chuckie Cheeses. She tells me that they have decided to appoint a Guardian Litem to the case because they don't want to make a decision. She then tells me that all the comments in our report don't make sense. There are remarks that my husband fell asleep during the training and said some things that were inappropriate. She can't tell me the remarks because the trainers wouldn't tell them. Ok like I said, my husband says things just out of the blue. That doesn't surprise me. I was worried about that to start with. Now my husband was also sick at one of the meetings and yes he closed his eyes. Now I'm reeling from this. Then she tells me that the current foster mom might be interested in keeping Jason. I was devestated. My heart literally felt like it was crushed. She tells me at this point that its a 50/50 chance that we will get him. She tells me to stop preparing ourselves for him because we may not get him.

I tell my husband about all of this. Now he's pretty laid back typically. Well he's not this time. He's as crushed as me. He doesn't even want to talk to her because we feel like she has lied to us this entire time. She didn't claim anything was wrong. But we have to put on a brave face and not give anything away to Jason about how upset we are.

So a month later, we meet the Guardian Litem. He tells us that there are issues in the report but that he thinks we are the best possible situation. He is going to advise them that he should be placed in our homes. Its truly his decision. We are just so happy. So overjoyed to be getting our boy. I didn't know how much my husband wanted a son until now.

Now we go into the CPS and are told by the cabinet that they will begin the process of placing him into our house. He comes over the first time with the foster mom so that he knows that she is ok with it. Then she goes home

To continue later