Thursday, July 9, 2009

Memories of Michael

I was just thinking about my first husband, Michael. He was such a wonderful guy. Maybe that’s why I say that The Love She Found In Me is my favorite song of all time. He said that it was written about me. You wouldn't have known what Michael really was like unless you knew him. He was genuine. If he liked you, he would give you everything. If he didn't, well let just say that you didn't get to know him at all. With everyone that I know knew him, everyone liked him. He was one of those people that asked how you were not told you about how he was. Even in his darkest hours when he was so ill that I know how much pain he was in. He still would ask how someone was. He still cared about others. People were important to him. He wanted to bring joy to everyone. No matter who they were. He wanted people to smile. He wanted to be remembered as a good guy.

Michael was told when he was just 3 years old that they didn't expect him to live long. He had a hard childhood. He was born a diabetic. So he learned about needles long before anyone should. And then he learned tragedy at 8 years old when his mother passed away. Michael missed his mother more than anything in the world. In his final days, he often talked about how he wanted to talk to his mother again. To stand beside her in heaven. I know that he safe now. I know she is taking care of him. When his mother passed away, his father gave him up to foster care. His father was an alcoholic and didn't think he could raise Michael. Michael went in and out of foster care until he was 15 years old. He told me stories about foster care that made my blood run cold. He told me about the treatment he experienced by cruel sadistic foster parents. I guess that’s why I have no problem adopting my son from foster care. I want him to live a life unlike what Michael experienced. I hope that I'm saying a child from that.

I don't like to remember those things but they did teach me what to do in my future. I believe that I was supposed to know those things so that I could say my son, Jason. I believe that things happen for a reason. Unfortunately, I didn't have a clue I would have to get to be over 40 when they started happening. But who am I to question it? I'm not going to.

Ok, I got off the subject a little. Michael was a diamond in the rough. There was so much good about him. I don't think he realized. He used to tell me that he would have changed everything if he known me before it was too late. But it was too late. I couldn't have known that. I was 17 and in love with the most wonderful man. We got married and shortly thereafter he lost his eyesight. I had to work to support us. He had been a mechanic. He couldn't take the chance that he would forget something because he couldn't see it. So I worked and supported us. I took care of him through it all. I was blessed to have known him. He taught me that life was about living. He knew he was living on borrowed time. Take every moment and enjoy it. This is what I ask of you...remember to hug your kids every day and tell them that you love them. Cherish what you have. I think we all live on borrowed make it worth it.