Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Now, her being upset that she was going to be a grandma started me thinking. When my kids have children, I will be over 60 years old. Is that too old? I want to be able to spend time with them to share my experiences. Will I be too old to appreciate who they are? I sure hope not.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Accept your child for who they are - not necessarily who you want them to be - but who they are. It is not easy, especially if you have a child that is not living up to their potential. Does this mean you should not discipline? Of course not! Discipline is essential. You should state and reinforce what your expectations of your child is. They need to understand what is expected of them, and they need to know that what is important to you that they excel in life. It is possible for you to accept them and still instill values, ambition and drive in them.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
My kids are my blessing as is my family and friends. My friends are many. I admit how very lucky I am. This week will change things for me. I will reflect on who and what is important to me. I will reflect on my life and goals and directions that I want to follow. I will not rush into anything or anyone.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Did you know that chewing gum keeps your attention longer? Ok I'll try that. Sounds simple enough but my husband has been chewing gum for years. I don't see his attention span very good. It does keep him awake though.
Then there is the continuing education thing. Sign up for a new program every term so that you are always learning something. Is that why people go back to school in their old age? Sounds kinda expensive. But I have heard there is a discount for seniors.
I, also, read that reading the newspaper every day will keep your mind going. There is always something new in there.
I will keep looking for things and sharing as I go on.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
- People that think that their opinion is the only one that counts
- People that are soo stuck on themselves that they can't smell the bs
- Someone that tells my child that she should be scared of something
- My son saying yes when he means no
- Rings around the tub
- Kids being hurt
- My daughter not standing up for herself
- Not knowing what to do
Saturday, July 18, 2009
So we started the process. First thing we had to do was go through 10 weeks of training. The class was once a week for 3 hours each time. Now my husband has ADD so keeping him in still was next to impossible during that time. As you will learn as you read my blog, he also says whatever is on his mind at the time. Now most people love him so thats good. He loves people. And he will talk about anything that comes up. Unfortunately, I can also say the wrong things at the wrong time. I'm shy which doesn't help matter so people don't get the chance to really know me. I would think by the end of the class they knew my husband by his name. I was just his wife.
Ok during the training, we have to have various things we have to do such as: credit checks, FBI checks, criminal background checks, personal references, get the house ready which means totally revamping the house which is small, and take extra classes. Did I mention that I was working at home as a recruiter and my husband had to work 40-60 hours at his job as a plumber while this was going on? Not to mention taking care of everything at home as well. We were a little nuts and exhausted. I was wondering if they wanted our first born by now.
Finally in April, we get to meet Jason. We start seeing him once a week. We think everything is going great. We are painting his room and buying things for him by now. Nothing bad was mentioned to us yet. I should have known that it was coming. Our credit is not perfect and neither of us had the perfect childhood. At the end of June, our caseworker goes on vacation. We get to meet her supervisor who tells me, "The next meeting is coming up and anyone that wants a 3 year old little boy can be there to try and get him." Ok now.... This was a total shock. We thought we were a shoe in. She's telling us not to plan anything at all for him.
So the our original caseworker comes back from vacation a week later and sits down with me. My husband is watching the kids and we are at Chuckie Cheeses. She tells me that they have decided to appoint a Guardian Litem to the case because they don't want to make a decision. She then tells me that all the comments in our report don't make sense. There are remarks that my husband fell asleep during the training and said some things that were inappropriate. She can't tell me the remarks because the trainers wouldn't tell them. Ok like I said, my husband says things just out of the blue. That doesn't surprise me. I was worried about that to start with. Now my husband was also sick at one of the meetings and yes he closed his eyes. Now I'm reeling from this. Then she tells me that the current foster mom might be interested in keeping Jason. I was devestated. My heart literally felt like it was crushed. She tells me at this point that its a 50/50 chance that we will get him. She tells me to stop preparing ourselves for him because we may not get him.
I tell my husband about all of this. Now he's pretty laid back typically. Well he's not this time. He's as crushed as me. He doesn't even want to talk to her because we feel like she has lied to us this entire time. She didn't claim anything was wrong. But we have to put on a brave face and not give anything away to Jason about how upset we are.
So a month later, we meet the Guardian Litem. He tells us that there are issues in the report but that he thinks we are the best possible situation. He is going to advise them that he should be placed in our homes. Its truly his decision. We are just so happy. So overjoyed to be getting our boy. I didn't know how much my husband wanted a son until now.
Now we go into the CPS and are told by the cabinet that they will begin the process of placing him into our house. He comes over the first time with the foster mom so that he knows that she is ok with it. Then she goes home
To continue later
I think that was the funniest thing I ever saw when I got home. I went to Bingo. Now, I know more people go to Bingo then I ever thought so don't think it. Well, I left a dabber at home. (For those of you Bingo virgins, that's a bottle full of green ink with a dabber on top of it). Faith was upstair and my husband got distracted as usual. She was in a diaper when she found the dabber. She got the lid off and poured it all over herself. The only part of her that wasn't green was where her diaper had been. It took 2 weeks before she was not a martian anymore. You wanna talk about old ladies staring at you like you were the devil reincarnated? Well they did. So needless to say, I came home right after I had the thought about the cellphone lol. Everything was alright though.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
--I was given a gift of being connected to someone that I care about. Of knowing when something is wrong. I feel it in my heart and usually I am not wrong. It could be as simple as someone having a bad day. My friend, Cricket, will think of me because she needs my attention on something. I always receive the message and not by phone. My poems from my grandfather are a testament that things happen that are not always understood.
-- I got really involved in the Jaycees.
My very first function was a Halloween party in the lower Rhine area. That’s a really bad part of town. So being a Halloween party I got dressed up. It was not required. I got dressed up as a witch. And I didn't know the neighborhood well and ended up lost. Well I pull up to this house and I couldn’t help thinking I’m going to be killed watch and see. Anyway I asked for directions from this little girl.
She looked at me and asked, "Are you a Jaycee?"
Of course, I replied, "Yes, do you know where this is?"
Her face literally lit up and she said, "Yes, you go... well to suffice to say she gave me directions.
I wasn't to know that I would later see this same little girl at the party. She came in dressed as a jelly bean bag. She was so cute and her mother was fortunate enough to come. Anyway during the party, I did my scary voice and told a wicked horror story to the kids. I literally had them spellbound... they were so rapt on my words. One of the other Jaycees tried to put input into the story. I tried to tell him but he just kept going. It didn't work. He wasn't aware that I wasn't reading from a book. I started to read from the book originally. But I could see the children must have heard it before so I changed it and made it into my own story. So I continued after he made a comment that there was no way he could take over. Two of my gifts from God are my writings and my voice. Its not that my voice is beautiful...its that I can change it sometimes to reflect different things such as a wicked witch...Australian accent...English nanny...Scottish...even a frog. I have always been able to change voices in the middle of a story and it does me well when I am telling stories to the kids now.
So any way while I was at the party, the mother of that little girl came up to me. It still makes me get teary eyed when I think of that conversation. I hadn't realized her daughter had won the costume contest... or that there even was one. So this mother tells me how very excited and blessed she feels that she was able to attend the party because she had to take off from one of her three jobs that she works to support her kids. That happiness and love that this woman showed to her child instilled in me that I wanted to continue to do the good work so to speak.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
welcome visitors...welcome friends...welcome the nut that shouldn't be here... cookout surprise..we wanna eat... do you think you could have told me at church? lol
got to love family..they complete us... the stimuate the mind
ohhh wait thats friends and family to stimulate the mind...
random thoughts oh my goodness what a good life tis mine
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
So here's the deal we found out:This crook was going up and down my street, the neighboring streets and the apartment complex up the street. Now, they rifled through my car, my neighbors car, my neighbors truck but the police department didn't think it was important enough to take fingerprints?? I know there had to be fingerprints in my car since they opened my glove box. There had to be fingerprints in my neighbors truck because they went through every thing. All this happened with people outside..some in their backyards with the fire going, some in their garages, and some just roaming around.
Now, I'm pretty sure I know who did it. They had a FOR RENT sign on their front yard on Sunday night. The little kid has been caught red handed in people's purses at a birthday party. There is an older boy there as well. Who just happened to be showing off digital cameras to his friends the day before. Which means it wasn't my digital camera that they stole. And he fits the general description of the culprit. Now all of this is subjectal since we can't prove it because we don't have fingerprints that the cops didn't take..grrrr. Did I mention that the FOR RENT sign is now gone? Guess they made enough for the mortgage this month.
Ok so thats the facts.. The parts that frustrate me the most is that I feel violated. I get in my car and I can't forget what they did. I no longer feel safe in my own neighborhood. I'm so angry that someone could do this to me. They took priceless pictures when they took my digital camera. They took away my peace. I'm so mad.
I still don't understand why the cops didn't dust for fingerprints. I'd better money that they would have been in the system.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
It was only a couple of seconds while I heard this conversation. I immediately let them know that I was awake. They hugged the stuffing out of me. Now this whole episode made me start thinking that they had absolutely no idea what to do in an emergency. First off, they had to have been terrified during it. It was after school so all of the kids were home and parents as well. They didn't go outside to get help which isn't good at all. They literally were waiting for my husband to come home because Faith thought she killed me. We have now talked about what to do if something ever happens. They seem to understand.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Michael was told when he was just 3 years old that they didn't expect him to live long. He had a hard childhood. He was born a diabetic. So he learned about needles long before anyone should. And then he learned tragedy at 8 years old when his mother passed away. Michael missed his mother more than anything in the world. In his final days, he often talked about how he wanted to talk to his mother again. To stand beside her in heaven. I know that he safe now. I know she is taking care of him. When his mother passed away, his father gave him up to foster care. His father was an alcoholic and didn't think he could raise Michael. Michael went in and out of foster care until he was 15 years old. He told me stories about foster care that made my blood run cold. He told me about the treatment he experienced by cruel sadistic foster parents. I guess that’s why I have no problem adopting my son from foster care. I want him to live a life unlike what Michael experienced. I hope that I'm saying a child from that.
I don't like to remember those things but they did teach me what to do in my future. I believe that I was supposed to know those things so that I could say my son, Jason. I believe that things happen for a reason. Unfortunately, I didn't have a clue I would have to get to be over 40 when they started happening. But who am I to question it? I'm not going to.
Ok, I got off the subject a little. Michael was a diamond in the rough. There was so much good about him. I don't think he realized. He used to tell me that he would have changed everything if he known me before it was too late. But it was too late. I couldn't have known that. I was 17 and in love with the most wonderful man. We got married and shortly thereafter he lost his eyesight. I had to work to support us. He had been a mechanic. He couldn't take the chance that he would forget something because he couldn't see it. So I worked and supported us. I took care of him through it all. I was blessed to have known him. He taught me that life was about living. He knew he was living on borrowed time. Take every moment and enjoy it. This is what I ask of you...remember to hug your kids every day and tell them that you love them. Cherish what you have. I think we all live on borrowed time..so make it worth it.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I love a little too much
I live through tragedy
A tragedy that did not need to be
I weep at the loss
watching the glory pass
A tragedy that did not need to be
I tenderly remember days gone by
I remember what is
A tragedy that did not need to be
I hold my memories close
I remember who I am
A tragedy that needed to happen
I remember you like it was yesterday.. I remember the love... the laughter... the kisses...oh the kisses... the way it felt like my bones were melting... how wonderful we were together.. and I shall always wonder where we were going. things were changing... we were growing... we were experimenting
family called cuz they were worried today how I was handling it... you know its been years since you were here and it still feels like yesterday when I think of you.. when I smell your scent upon my skin.
I love you
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I go down the street and see house after house now that is empty because someone couldn't afford their house payment. My heart breaks for those families. I know how easily it would be for us all to be there. I think the government should wise up and stop sending our people over there. We need our money here in the United States not in other countries. So lets bring all of our troops home.. Let's take care of our homeless and economically strapped families. Lets take some money from the rich companies so that us middle class people can survive.
Stop giving our money away to companies that should be able to survive.. I didn't say car company but you know what I was thinking. Cars have gone up every year. Please don't tell me that the car companies can't afford to build them. Please don't tell me that the top executives can't afford to take a pay cut. We all know they can.
I think the people should take back the government. You know we keep electing a president every year but quite frankly..the president doesn't really make the decisions. The houses do. The people need to stand up and say..."We want better health care programs, less taxes...we want to be able to support our families. We want to keep our kids home from the wars. Keep our money in the United States and not out of it. Save flood victims. Save people losing their houses. Help those poor people on the street. Help the middle class that is now becoming the low class."
I've had some moms tell me that they don't understand why I go there. They say that is the loudest thing to do. Well, then I'm not typical because I love to hear the sound of a child's laugh. I even love to hear Jason's drum set that we had his nana by for him. He loves it. He could pound on that thing all day long. I do mean pound as well.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Candidates need to realize that they are interviewing the prospective employer as well. So when they come to that ultimate question, "Do you have any questions for me?" The answer should always be "YES". This is the time to ask for answers that you need such as:
- Why is this position available? You really want to know did the person get promoted, did the company grow to need the position, or did the person resigned.
- What are the most important skills for this job? When they answer that question..counter it with what skills you have.
- How would you describe the ideal candidate? Let them know that you think you have those characteristics.
- Is there opportunities for advancement? This question shows them that you are looking for a career and not just a job. They like to hear that.
- Where do you see the company is five years? You are asking this question to see if they expect growth. They will know the answer. All executives of a company know the plans for the future of their company.
By asking questions, you are showing that you are interested in the company. It also gives you the chance to show how knowledgeable you are about the industry and the position. Most important, it allows you to demonstrate why you are the perfect candidate.
There are things that you should never ask about as well early in the interview process such as:
- Salary - you have the skills or you wouldn't be interviewing. Let’s negotiate that later on when they really are interested.
- Sick or Vacation time - No employer wants to think that you are thinking about vacation time before you start working. They will think you won't work hard.
- Compensation - Never go into 401k, medical policy. You do not want the employer thinking that you are more interested in compensation than the company itself.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
smiling so quietly
smelling the air
feeling the breeze on my face
hearing the kids' laughter
seeing parents' grimace
seeing the monkeys jump from vine to vine
looking at my demons
cotton candy vendors
ice cream galore
how can they eat that?
monkeys, bears, tigers..oh my
spiders, tarantulas, bugs...yikes
train tracks, rides, carousel...hooray
spending time with the kids...my blessing
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
I am a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM). I still work from home or at least try. In a previous life I was a administrative assistant and trainer. I have always lived around Cincinnati or close by. I am now as close as I ever want to it again.
I am a widow. I was married when I was seventeen to a wonderful man named Michael. I will periodically talk about my experiences with Michael as well since I believe that they helped to form who I am today. One touch cookie who doesn't believe everything she hears or sees. Life does go on after you lose the first love of your life and then you will eventually find the second love of your life but it will be crazy during the years between.
I am starting this blog for various reasons:
- I need somewhere to talk about the craziness in my life. Its fun to share and family can check out the blog if they want. But be aware that sometimes it will be about you. Don't take offense I will never write an untrue remark. lol The truth is hard enough.
- I want other moms to know that they aren't alone when their kids drive them insane.
- I will talk about what its like to have kids from foster care and adoption. Though, I will tell you right now I love them completely so its not different from having your own.
- I want to help other mothers learn how to work from home or find real jobs at home. Not scams. I can not believe how many scam artists there are out there.
- I will talk about feelings and memories as they come up.
- I will talk about work. Although names will never be mentioned there nor will I tell my coworkers about this site. I am currently a recruiter so I will talk about interviewing, career tips, how to find that perfect job, etc.
- I might talk about products that I find that really are good or the ones that are bad.
- I will talk about budgets and being frugal. As I learn those things I will talk about it. I'm not the best at it either.
Thanks and enjoy.