It’s that time again when you are trying to make everyone happy. Trying to keep the budget down where it is suppose to be. Yet it’s impossible. I want to do so many things at once, and nothing seems to get accomplished. I want to be the fun, happy go lucky girl I once was, not dragged down with all this stress and irritation. It seems like if I just had the money to get through this, everything would be fantastic. That the root of the problem, money, it’s never enough, and we don't ever have it. But I know, I KNOW money is NOTHING when it comes to happiness... Yet I can't help feeling stressed out due to the lack of money. I know what's important its family, friends, people, things that cannot be replaced. But I want to be able to give things to my family and friends. I want to buy that pretty dress that Faith wants and doesn't need it. It brings me down when I can't. This time of year is so busy for us and there is never enough to get everything accomplished. October brings Faith's birthday as well as Halloween. November brings Thanksgiving. December as we all know too well brings Christmas and then New Years Eve. I can't seem to balance it all and it’s dragging me down.
It seems like that struggle for me everyday... in almost every way. When will it get easier? When will I see the finish line near? I do the best that I can in teaching my kids not to desire material things, to value the little things in life. Sometimes it’s just not enough. Sometimes I want things, they want things. I hate wanting things. I hate feeling depressed. I just needed to vent a minute before I went insane. Today is not one of my happier ramblings, hopefully I perk up again tomorrow.