Friday, October 30, 2009

Need advice - Do I worry or not?

I need advice. Do I worry or don't I? As you all are aware by now, if not it shouldn't be much of a shock. I'm a bit of a worrywart about my kids. Back in August, Faith came to me and told me that she did not want me to walk her down to the bus because I feel So Stupid, Mom. I got so much support from you all about not going.

Right before we went on vacation, she started wanting me to walk her down again. So I am walking her half way down so that I can still keep a watch eye out for Jason. I can go either way quickly. Jason is so not a morning bug. I asked her if there was a problem she said no. But I'm a mommy and this is worrying me. Now typically I would have thought that it was our next door neighbor but Faith still seems fine with her. In fact, she waited with us today. When Faith requested me to walk her down, only the 5th grader girl was down there. Faith is very small to her. Now most of the kids actually wait for the bus to get close before they come out as well. That is because of my next door neighbor.

Thing is I have this gut feeling that it’s more. I can’t seem to shake it.  Faith isn’t willing to talk about it. At least I haven’t gotten it out yet. But I am trying to be careful about approaching it as well. So I am approaching you, my readers, for any suggestions.  Anyone have any advice? I am not used to dealing with this kind of situation yet. 




Menopausal New Mom said...

Hi Tami, that's a tough one. I would definitely wait close by and out of sight unless your daughter wants you right out in the open. It's hard to get children to talk, you might try having some mommy and me time with her and while she is involved in the activity, try telling her your own story and see if she will open up a bit more. She may be more willing to communicate if you ask her advice on something. Just a suggestion, hope you get to the bottom of whatever it is.

Heart2Heart said...


Just keep talking to her Tami, perhaps in time she will let down her guard if you keep the lines of communication open. There may not be anything there after all but communication is a great tool to keep on working on.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Frugal Vicki said...

I haven't had to deal with this yet, so I don't have any advice, other than to follow your heart and your mom's instinct, because it is RARELY wrong.Good luck!

Rondi said...

Hello Tami, Just a suggestion-I always tell my children that they can talk to me about anything and we will work it out together--but children will only talk when they feel comfortable to do so. Let her know that if she needs to talk, you are there for her. I would continue to wait close by and keep an eye on her until she is ready to open up. Best wishes.

kys said...

Keep talking but don't push too hard or she might clam up. If you catch her in a chatty mood, you might want to bring up the subject. Just kind of steer her that way without her knowing it. I would be keeping an eye on her at the bus stop.

blueviolet said...

Is it possible that it has something to do with the fact that it's been darker in the mornings? Maybe something scared her as she was walking one time? said...

I've found that with anything, eventually it all comes out on it's own. I've found that if I push the issue I'm met with resistance.

I'd watch carefully, but not interfere unless invited to.

I don't think this was a huge help, but I do wish you luck with it. It's so hard to know what is the right/wrong thing to do :(

HeartsMakeFamilies said...

Thank you all for your advice. It means the world to me that I can reach out and ask for help from you all. I have talked to her about if she ever needs to talk. I did bring up a past thing that happened to me in 3rd grade. Can't believe I remember that. That just got her talking about the bully in her class. I knew about him but its good that she was open to talk about it.

Hubs and I sat down with both kids. I didn't want to make it seem like we were bullying her. We talked to them about if they ever have a problem that they can come to us. That we will figure it out together. No matter what it is. Faith looked funny at me but she didn't say anything.

She does want me to physically be within sight of her until she is on the bus. She wants to wait with me until she has to run down the street to the bus.

I did notice that when they got off the bus. Yes, I was outside for it. I noticed that the girl I think she has an issue with walked on the other side of the street. I heard the girl next door (the one I worry about so much influence) tell her to get away from them. I'll just keep watching. It so hard to do that though. I want to fix it.

Again thank you all for your advice. I really do appreciate it.